Tarek and Bryce, <EM>The Apprentice</EM> Tarek and Bryce, The Apprentice
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The venerable dialogue gods offer up more proof this week that Chloe O'Brian is yin to Jack Bauer's yang. Case in point: Chloe responds to the question "How are you doing?" with a wordy yet understated "Well, this morning I woke up with a guy in my bed that I'll probably never see again, and I just watched one of my best friends die right in front of me so, I guess not that great." Meanwhile, Jack's pithy reply to "Are you all right?" comes in a single, steely syllable: "No." Perfect answers, both. I suppose I should devote a little time to McGill's swan song clearly, we know his number's up as soon as Red Shirt calls him out on not reporting his key card stolen. "So we're all gonna die because you were embarrassed?" Well, not so much "all" as... you. Red Shirt understands a thing or two about karma, but irony's another matter entirely. As sweeping acts of martyrdom go, it's no George Mason Nuclear Kamikaze Flight of Doom, but still  way to go, Rudy. And remind me never to eat strawberry yogurt again. Elsewhere, the VP's been on the scene for all of an hour and a half, and he's already used the phrase "martial law" some 700 times. Oh, and did I mention RoboCop's armed and on the loose, thanks to some sort of superhuman tolerance to drugs of torture and the well-intentioned but deadly theatrics of Tony's personal vendetta? The gun, dude. Next time, use the gun. As for that heartbreaking final scene (wait, didn't we have one of those last week?), it's beyond brutal that the long-awaited reunion between our star-crossed CTU soul mates comes with what may or may not be the honorable Mr. Almeida's dying breath. All I can say is: Tony, I swear.