As the Guinness Book of World Records has it, this strange little film from the Italian director Gionata Zarantonello is distinguished by at least one thing: It contains the longest single shot of a penis ever on film (Where are you when we really need you, Andy Warhol?). That record breaking member belongs to Francesco Marelli (played by the prolific Euro-porn star Franco Trentalance, although his face is rarely seen), a piggish, womanizing writer who is laid up in bed for the entire running time of the film with a fractured pelvis and a broken shin he sustained in a motorcycle accident. (Or maybe it was a fall from a horse. Or snowboarding. It all depends on who's asking). After a three week stay in the hospital, Francesco's now at home, confined to his bed for the next month and already thumbing through his scrapbook of sexual conquests looking for a lady to join him. While he has little luck with the first group of women he calls, Francesco does receive a visit from the police, who have been searching for his missing girlfriend, Jasmine. According to Francesco, they were walking along the docks when he slipped and fell, fracturing his pelvis and blacking out. When he came to, Jasmine was gone. The policewoman who questions him suspects they were fighting and doesn't quite believe his whole story, but he denies the allegations. After the police exit the apartment, Francesco measures his penis, gets it caught in a vacuum cleaner, reads a morbid story he's written to a woman who's dialed the wrong number and receives visits from Lisa, an ex- who cheats on her new boyfriend with Pasquale. Later, Pasquale, a nurse, shows up and takes X-rays while Francesco regales him with his theory that the penis is "the underpinning of the world." Pasquale agrees, then hits on him, sending Francesco into a homo panic. Lisa's jealous boyfriend then shows up to menace Francesco with a wrench. Told in real-time with apparently no edits and with the virtually static camera positioned at the end of his bed squarely between a naked Trentalance's legs, the film is really an exercise in how much of a story can be told with a single shot, and a surprising amount of details do manage to slip into frame. But while it is sort of funny that Zarantonello should take phallocentrism to such an absurd extreme, having to stare at a man's penis for 75 minutes is enough to turn a gay man straight and straight women gay.
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- Released: 2003
- Rating: R
- Review: As the Guinness Book of World Records has it, this strange little film from the Italian director Gionata Zarantonello is distinguished by at least one thing: It contains the longest single shot of a penis ever on film (Where are you when we really need you… (more)