The Convent

  • 2001
  • Movie
  • R
  • Comedy, Horror

This gore-fest is so tongue in cheek that it leaves a disfiguring mark on its own credibility; it sends up horror movies not out of affection, but as an excuse to pile up special effects. Sorority sisters and frat boys go where angels fear to tread when they play a prank at a long-abandoned convent. The site comes complete with its own urban legend: 40 years...read more

Where to Watch

Available to Stream

  • Watch on
Reviewed by Robert Pardi
Rating:

This gore-fest is so tongue in cheek that it leaves a disfiguring mark on its own credibility; it sends up horror movies not out of affection, but as an excuse to pile up special effects. Sorority sisters and frat boys go where angels fear to tread when they play a prank at a long-abandoned convent. The site comes complete with its own urban legend: 40 years ago its walls witnessed the slaying of a priest and several nuns by a vengeful unwed mother, Christine, who was said to have been kidnapped and forced to undergo an abortion performed by these religious figures. Now a recluse, Christine lives in a decrepit house near the convent. As the teens prepare to paint the not-so-hallowed halls with graffiti, slumbering zombies await their return. Clarissa (Joanna Canton), Frijole (Richard Trapp), Mo (Meghan Perry) and their classmates sneak in, unaware that earlier the same night, members of an amateur cult hope to resurrect Satan with a virginal offering or two. After the devil-worshippers capture and sacrifice Mo, the spirits are howling for blood. One by one, Clarissa's pals get sliced and diced, and she eventually gives up trying to contain the ghouls in favor of seeking help from the dreaded Christine (Adrienne Barbeau). But surprise, surprise: Rather than an anti-Catholic psychopath, Christine is a foxy Honda Mama who tells Clarissa an entirely different version of the convent massacre. Clarissa says ghouls took over her Catholic school by possessing the staff. Can Clarissa coax Christine into a second go-round against the fiends? As they lock and load, Clarissa and Christine square off against the living dead, who've become too hyper to resume eternal rest. This grotesquely over-acted, grade-z chiller does dole out a few moments of anti-clericical glee, and veteran scream queen Barbeau lends some bounce to the proceedings. But even she can't transform the gross-out tackiness (which includes a scene of zombie fellatio/castration) into entertainment.

Cast & Details See all »

  • Released: 2001
  • Rating: R
  • Review: This gore-fest is so tongue in cheek that it leaves a disfiguring mark on its own credibility; it sends up horror movies not out of affection, but as an excuse to pile up special effects. Sorority sisters and frat boys go where angels fear to tread when th… (more)

Show More »