Imagine a Z-grade rip-off of DIE HARD (1988), fleshed-out with soft-core sex interludes and starring Amazonian Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith in the Bruce Willis role, and you get an idea of what SKYSCRAPER has to offer. Connoisseurs of ludicrous plotting, laughable dialogue and poor
acting will have a field day with this one.
A Shakespeare-spouting terrorist named Fairfax (Charles Huber) is on a killing spree in his quest to obtain four separate suitcases containing components of a satellite weapons system. He manages to get three of them, but must break into the Zi-Tex building to get the last.
He hires helicopter charter pilot Carrie Wink (Anna Nicole Smith) to land him on the roof of the skyscraper. A little upset, Carrie has just come from a big fight with her detective husband, Gordon (Richard Steinmetz), over Carrie's desire to have a baby.
Carrie lands Fairfax on the roof of the building, while his gang kills the guards and takes over the high-tech security system. Fairfax meets the man who has the fourth component case, but the man manages to escape with it after Fairfax shoots him. The wounded man runs into Carrie and gives her
the case. Eventually captured by Fairfax, Carrie takes him to the case, only to discover it's been picked up by a janitor. Fairfax goes to look for it, and leaves Carrie with one of his thugs.
A swat team shows up and unsuccessfully tries to get into the building. The thug tries to rape Carrie, but she shoots him to death. Fairfax finds the case, then heads for the chopper on the roof, grabbing an office worker's kid as a hostage and forcing Carrie to go with him. Gordon is waiting for
them on the roof and tries to shoot Fairfax; Carrie knocks Fairfax's gun away and throws him off the roof. As Carrie and Gordon get into an ambulance, he tells her he's now ready to have a baby.
SKYSCRAPER may be hysterically bad, replete with muscle-bound terrorists delivering laughable lines in really bad German accents, but it's also mindlessly entertaining as long as it sticks to the PM Entertainment Group formula of daredevil stunts, slow-motion gunfights, car crashes, and fiery
explosions. It also has the added attraction of the wondrous Ms. Smith.
Her performance consists of pouting and moaning, as she delivers supposedly life-and-death lines in a thick Texas twang. Her delivery conveys all the emotion of having discovered she just broke a nail. ("Oh, I've been taken hostage by terrorists! Why tonight?") Those nails, incidentally, are
razor-sharp and bright red, as we're continually shown in hilarious inserts of her hand wrapped around the helicopter joystick.
Smith is hardly modest about exposing her body: a gratuitous shower scene is staged like a centerfold shoot, and the filmmakers earn bonus points for the ingenious way they manage to work in a nude scene during the skyscraper siege--to show that she's a good shot, Carrie has a flashback in which
Gordon gives her a shooting lesson, which segues into a sex-on-the-grass frolic.
And of course, before she kills the terrorist who tries to rape her, she "plays along" with him for a few minutes. Yet despite, or perhaps because of, Smith's ineptitude, there's something oddly likable about her. Here is a woman who was born too late. In the 1950s, she could have been a femme
fatale for Howard Hughes or Hugo Haas; Russ Meyer would have turned her into a goddess in the '60s; and in the '70s and '80s, she could have starred in a string of Andy Sidaris's action epics. Now, she's forced to toil in the direct-to-video factory.(Graphic violence, extreme profanity, extensivenudity, sexual situations.)
Cast & Details See all »
- Released: 1996
- Rating: R
- Review: Imagine a Z-grade rip-off of DIE HARD (1988), fleshed-out with soft-core sex interludes and starring Amazonian Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith in the Bruce Willis role, and you get an idea of what SKYSCRAPER has to offer. Connoisseurs of ludicrous plotting… (more)