This quickly-produced cash-in on the SHOWGIRLS media blitz droolingly depicts gorgeous sex fanatics reading each others' skin like Braille and still isn't the slightest bit erotic. It does, however, have a ludicrously deadpan style and a host of hoary old show-biz cliches that make it
eminently watchable, and laughable.
Naive L.A. transplant Angie (Lorissa McComas) bombs out at acting auditions because she's out of touch with her sensuality. Without her knowledge, Angie's roommate Claudia (Tane McClure) campaigns to expose the ex-farmgirl to uninhibited sexual expression. After coaxing her to bid adieu to her
controlling boyfriend Michael (Brian Cooper), singer-wannabe Claudia entices Angie to work with her in the exciting world of lap dancing. Timid Angie watches the pros strut their stuff, and even accompanies Sandy (Kim Dawson) as she instructs her in how to get free groceries from a masturbating
store manager. Among the fledgling actress's other learning experiences are a blindfolded session listening to love-machine Sandy having sex with her lover and a hidden peek at Irene (Chanda) satisfying a john outside the club. Less than enthralled with the prospect of a lap-dancing career or a
sideline in prostitution, Angie spills out her dreams to a blind club habitué who encourages her to try out again. After falling for the sightless stud, Angie feels betrayed that Claudia has tricked her into every sexual encounter she's had recently. However, just as Claudia overcomes her stage
fright and plans to sing again, Angie also rediscovers her show-biz aspirations. Having broken through her reserve to become a top-notch exotic dancer, Angie smashingly re-auditions and wins an acting role, causing her to forgive her well-intentioned pals for interfering in her life and career.
With its laughable dialogue and insipid acting, LAP DANCING has the makings of a classic bad movie. As trash goes, it features a wide array of clinker scenes that linger in the memory long after you've forgotten what everyone's breasts look like, e.g. Sandy's auto-erotic experimentation with
veggies at a convenience store, Claudia's long-awaited and unique comeback as the world's first topless blues singer, and Angie's final audition in which she actually lap dances on the director. (Budding starlets, take note!) Camp connoisseurs will no doubt appreciate the Ruby Keeler factor:
Despite her education in grinding, Angie reads her first and her last audition speech with the same blank naivete that Ruby exhibited in FORTY-SECOND STREET. In effect, LAP DANCING is a smut-peddler's version of a backstage musical in which a star is born every night--in someone's lap.(Violence,extensive nudity, extreme profanity, sexual situations, substance abuse.)
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- Released: 1995
- Rating: NR
- Review: This quickly-produced cash-in on the SHOWGIRLS media blitz droolingly depicts gorgeous sex fanatics reading each others' skin like Braille and still isn't the slightest bit erotic. It does, however, have a ludicrously deadpan style and a host of hoary old… (more)