Worthy of inclusion on any list of the world's worst films, this moronic media satire is suggests NETWORK (1976) re-imagined by a Garbage Pail Kid. A childhood trauma pushed little Jane White (Jordan Karecki) into a delusional state: After Seeing her father, a repairman, crushed by television sets, Jane not only became a coach potato but also became obsessed with viewing her entire life as a television program. Worse yet, the now teenaged Jane (Kim Little) has convinced herself that Chicago talk show maven Gerry King (David L. Lander) is her real dad. But small town Jane despairs of ever meeting King because she doesn't have the telegenic qualities it takes to be featured on the shock jock’s TV show. Then Jane has a brainstorm: If she could reinvent herself as a freak she'd be able to land a spot on "The Gerry King Show" and be reunited with her papa. Jane disguises herself as a transvestite hooker, only to find that her fake penis and painted beard prove a turn-off to her first client, Barney (Colin Mochrie).
Barney does offer Jane a lift home and some advice: She's not cut from the cloth of tabloid-TV. Determined to reach Chicago, Jane meets a kindred spirit in Dick Smith (Wil Wheaton), who offers to drive her. Hoping to impress Jane, Dick pretends to be a serial killer, Jane once corresponded with real serial murderer Kenny Kingman (Mickey Jones) in hopes of landing on the "Gerry King Show" segment about "women who write to convicted murderers." Kingman, meanwhile, escapes the penitentiary and goes looking for his former pen pal, who's on to her next assumed identity: Alien abductee. The eager to please Dick drives Jane to the desert, where she hopes to attract horny space aliens, but when she discovers Dick is merely an economics major she dumps him. Holed up in a motel room watching TV, Jane is horrified to see a midget disguised as a Clover Scout stabbing Gerry King to death on air. Having failed to get to Chicago in time, Jane finds her warped perception of the world colliding with reality for the first time since childhood. TV has-beens and unknown actors mingle in this abrasive talk show parody, exuding the sour smell of flop sweat; only Alley Mills (TV's The Wonder Years) brings any sense of professionalism to her role as Jane's mom. The rest of the cast is content to stick out their tongues at the audience, even though their overplaying can't camouflage the movie's inept songs, unnecessary claymation sequences and dismal one-liners
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- Released: 2003
- Rating: R
- Review: Worthy of inclusion on any list of the world's worst films, this moronic media satire is suggests NETWORK (1976) re-imagined by a Garbage Pail Kid. A childhood trauma pushed little Jane White (Jordan Karecki) into a delusional state: After Seeing her fathe… (more)