Inspired by the classic comic-book character, and reconceptualized as a girlie-power pin-up, French director Christophe Comar's English-language debut (directed under his nom d'ecran Pitof) is an instantly forgettable, hyper-stylized trifle. Mousy Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) slaves in the art department of Hedare Cosmetics until the night she accidentally overhears a research scientist warning Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone), the longtime "Face of Hedare" who was just ignominiously replaced by this year's model, that the company's miracle wrinkle cream, Beau-line, has deforming side effects. Laurel intends to let nothing stand between Beau-line and millions of women ready to pay anything to look younger, so she directs her henchmen to kill Patience, unaware that her meek, self-effacing employee is connected to a wellspring of feline power that literally brings her back from the dead. Patience is, however, not the same timid shadow she was before. The new, improved Patience is freakishly strong and agile, her senses are inhumanly sharp and she's positively rippling with sleek self-confidence. The reborn Patience captivates straight-arrow cop Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), thrills her comic-relief friends (Alex Borstein, Michael Massee) with her newfound assertiveness and arouses the ire of boss George Hedare (Lambert Wilson), who promptly fires her when she back talks him. The old Patience would have gone into a tailspin, but this one gives herself a sexed-up makeover and sets about protecting the women of the world from Beau-line. Comar's special-effects background clearly orients him more to visuals than storytelling, but it's screenwriters John Brancato, Michael Ferris and John Rogers who bear the brunt of the blame for taking wild liberties with Batman creator Bob Kane's 60-year-old character without giving her anything to do but strut and preen. Berry is the fifth actress to don Catwoman's second-skin costume, following in the paw prints of Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt in the '60s television show; Lee Meriwether in the spin-off movie; and Michelle Pfeiffer in 1992's BATMAN RETURNS. That Berry is the only Oscar winner in the group only makes her painfully uncharismatic performance more embarrassing. She looks fantastic, but her attempts to channel Kitt's distinctive purr are dismal. The hands-down highlight is a no-holds-barred catfight, if you will, between Catwoman and Laurel Hedare, who proves a worthier opponent than you might imagine: Even in a movie driven by meow power, the inner bitch is a force with which to be reckoned. Overall, though, the film drags at 91 minutes, filled with dead air that should be crackling with pulp energy. --Maitland McDonagh
