Worst Shout OutJulianne Moore, who won for playing former vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin in HBO's Game Change, said, "I feel so validated because Sarah Palin gave me a big thumbs down." Will Palin disapprove of that comment? You betcha!

Best Auctioneer Game Change executive producer Tom Hanks was not only sporting an unfamiliar mustache for the Emmys, but he channeled a Sotheby's auctioneer with his rapid-fire thank-you speech. We didn't exactly catch all the names he mentioned, but at least he didn't get played off the stage. Sold!

Cheekiest Accent After Damian Lewis' win for Homeland, Parks and Recreation's Aziz Ansari adopted a fake British accent because "I feel like people take your acting more seriously when you're British ... It's brilliant. Fish and chips. Cheers." He bloody well might have a point there!

Most Meta-Acceptance Complete with headset and glowing screens behind him, Glenn Weiss made his thank-you speech for Outstanding Directing for a Variety Special from his control booth since he was in the middle of directing the Emmys. After making amends for not thanking his parents nine years ago for his previous Emmy, he directed his assistant to "play me off."

Rudest Cut-Off Although time restrictions are a given on three-hour award shows, it would have been nice if Modern Family co-creator Steve Levitan was able to complete his (albeit rambling) acceptance speech before producers cut off his mic so that Kimmel could joke, "What? You guys need to stay another hour?"

Least Danger of a Wardrobe Malfunction Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy winner Julie Bowen humbly described her acting contribution to Modern Family as "me falling down and making faces while wearing lipstick and nipple covers" and then went on to discuss nipple covers some more. ABC, keeping blouses smooth for safe TV viewing.

Worst Accounting Joke In an attempt to make the requisite presentation of Ernst & Young vote-counters more intriguing, Sheldon of CBS' comedy Big Bang Theory geeked out about the three accountants on stage. "We call her The Mental Muscles From Brussels!" he enthused, before chanting, "CPA! CPA! CPA!" Sorry, sexy and accounting does not compute.

Funniest Host No offense to Kimmel, but Dancing with the Stars emcee Tom Bergeron proved why he won for Outstanding Reality Show Host. "Thanks Jeff Probst for not being nominated. That helped," he quipped. And then he thanked his family, commenting, "Most of them know who they are."

Randiest Presenter Channeling her scene-stealing Bridesmaids character, Melissa McCarthy made innuendo-filled comments about each of the comedic actor nominees. Her best line was reserved for Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer: "Wore out that poster of Ducky." We did too!

Most Grateful Winner Aaron Paul may have a foul mouth on Breaking Bad, but when accepting his Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama award, he was all sweetness and held back tears. "Thank you so much for not killing me off," he told his series' writers, before thanking his parents for kicking him out of the house to get a real job and then his fiancée "for looking at me the way you do. You truly have saved me."

Most Terrifying Tot The Modern Family cast gamely revealed the biggest diva on set: Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, who plays adopted Vietnamese daughter Lily. The little monster constantly insults, pranks and threatens her co-stars. No wonder Ed O'Neill is plotting to replace her ... with Ken Jeong in a wig. Is it too late to get baby Lily back?

Oddest Retro Homage Ever wonder what edgy, drug-addled Breaking Bad would be like before cable came on the scene? The AMC series was reimagined with a black-and-white new opening sequence, à la The Andy Griffith Show, in which Walt and Jesse amble along in HAZMAT suits carrying fishing poles, pull out handguns and shoot Don Knotts. That's one way to silence Barney Fife!

Flattest Comedy Bit Kimmel attempted to draw eyeballs to the broadcast by urging viewers to tweet out "OMG, Tracy Morgan just passed out at the Emmys. Turn on ABC now" and convincing the 30 Rock actor to lie prone on the stage. Unfortunately, the attempt at humor fell as flat as Morgan's corpse-like pose, and it was a relief when he was carried off later.

Sweetest Faux Significant Other In Eric Stonestreet's acceptance speech for Supporting Actor in a Comedy, the Modern Family star thanked his on-screen gay husband played by Jesse Tyler Ferguson. "There is no Cam without Mitch," said Stonestreet, adding, "I never knew I'd play a gay man on TV. I love the pictures of hairy chests you guys are sending me... so thank you for that."

Most Tongue-in-Cheek TributeJosh Groban set the tone by sitting down at a grand piano to sing a slowed-down, melodramatic cover of One Direction's "You Are Beautiful" while presenting a pre-emptive "In Memoriam" montage ... to host Jimmy Kimmel. "I will be missed," Kimmel said after the clips package.

Most Arduous Journey Jon Stewart had to fight Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon, both of whom tackled the Daily Show host to the ground in order to get to the podium to say his thank yous. "I'm in no kind of shape to be in a fight with Jimmy Fallon, who's in pretty good shape. Son of a b----!," said Stewart. Physical travails aside, the variety-show host noted that he was promised a sandwich "after 10 [Emmy wins]" and that "We make topical comedy ... [this] is proof that it's not just ephemeral. Years from now, when Earth is just a burning husk and aliens visit, they'll find a box of these and they will know just how predictable these [f---ing awards can be]." Bleep, yeah!

Best Botox Remedy In a pre-taped introductory skit, Hollywood's hottest TV actresses fixed host Jimmy Kimmel's plastic-surgery dilemma — a surprised look and fat lips from too much botox — by taking turns punching him in the face. One better, Mad Men's glam gal Christina Hendricks headbutted him. Apparently, violence can solve some things!

Most Self-Serving Speech Oops! In her acceptance speech, Veep star Julia Louis-Dreyfus "accidentally" began to read fellow Outstanding Actress in a Comedy nominee Amy Poehler's thank-you speech. When the two restored order by swapping notes, the Parks and Recreation star still had the last laugh. After thanking the usual suspects, Louis-Dreyfus read off her notes, "Isn't it a shame that Amy Poehler didn't win?" Sneaky!