Patient: Marie Osmond
Injury: Fainted while receiving critique for her samba during Week 5.
Severity: High (on the WTF?! scale). Though she was ultimately OK, Osmond's kerplunk on live television sent producers scrambling to cut to an impromptu commercial break and cynics running conspiracy theories as to the veracity of her breathlessness. She did come to, like, a minute later.
Result: Third place to the chagrin of millions not part of Osmond Nation. Curiously enough from what we can tell, there weren't any injuries prior to her dramatic fainting spell. Take from that what you will.