Mad Men beauty January Jones' long, strapless gown looks as if someone skinned a blue jay. And what's going on with the seashells pasted on the bustline?

Lauren Graham's dress is too big, for her frame and her messy hair doesn't help the look.

Rita Wilson's dress is too baggy, and the charms dangling off her shoes don't work.

Anna Paquin's militaristic shoulder pads are all wrong.

Oh, Tina Fey, when we told you to try something other than a little black dress, we didn't mean you should wear a lampshade.

Elisabeth Moss looks frumpy in this sky-blue, off-the-shoulder gown that fits her like a bag.

Is it just us or is Chloe Sevigny wearing a sandwich board?

Pale gold is not the best color for Christina Hendricks' fair complexion. And her Christian Siriano dress doesn't flatter her shapely figure.

We give Drew Barrymore points for risk-taking, but unfortunately, her gown looks as if it has fancy toilet brushes attached to it.

Someone should tell Meryl Streep that you can't just slap some accessories on a granny dress and hope it will pass as young and vibrant.

Toni Collette's horribly shaped gown looks like the lining of what potentially could have been a much nicer dress.

Well, look at that — it's Drew Barrymore again! Her gown's two-tone action isn't working in the slightest, and don't even get us started on the hooped tier.

It's hard to say what's going on with Joan Allen's red patterned gown — perhaps that's because it's hidden behind the dreamcatcher she's wearing as a necklace?

Patricia Arquette shows off the finest gown from the Swamp Thing collection.

By now Britney Spears should be able to find a stylist who will prevent her from wearing a sheer black dress over a bodysuit. Horrendous.

Nude is not Katy Perry's color. This bodysuit-like silhouette shows off her amazing figure, but it needs something more than hideous gold floral appliqués.

You would think that after signing on for a second season of Jersey Shore, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi could afford a classier dress than this purple hoochie number. And where's the pouf?

Fergie really shouldn't wear a tiny tube dress. And what's with that vertical silver lining? It looks like a drainpipe.

It appears as though Niecy Nash's sparkling beige gown sprouted roots and planted itself into the red carpet.

There appears to be a purple poodle attached to the bottom of Zoe Saldana's gown.

Did Vera Farmiga just come from under the sea? Nice color, but that's one too many seashell ruffles for our taste.

Really, Charlize Theron? A cupcake brassiere?

Sarah Jessica Parker's gold gown appears to be wearing a tin-foil tiara. And we're not digging the gown's apron fit or her jacked-up hairdo.

Mariah Carey isn't shy about showing off cleavage or leg in a high-slit navy gown.