Amy Adams Hosts, Vampire Weekend Performs
Hello everyone. Happy rainy Saturday night. I had a nap today just so I could rally myself to write you the recap of your lives. Actually I just ate too much sugar and passed out. You might only get a half-conscious recap now. Maybe that's for the best considering last week's terrible show with Ellen Page.
So, let's just jump into the show, shall we?
Cold Opening
Amy Poehler is Hillary once again. Did you expect anything else? "She approves of this message," which is actually a spoof of her "Who will answer the phone," campaign commercial. Black and white stills of Hillary in cold cream and a shower cap cut to black and white sills of Obama in the White House as president. He's been calling her every two seconds for advice on everything from foreign policy to finding the heating reset button in the basement. There's a lot of swearing on Obama's side, and he's smoking, which is supposed to be funny but is just kind of strange.
Roll opening credits....
Monologue
Amy Adams is so damn pretty it makes me want to hurl. She brings out Kristen Wiig because they look so much a like (sorta...); they pretend to be as close as sisters, and then burst out into song about loathing each other. It's very Disney/musical theater. What it's not: funny. But it's OK for now because she's so damn cute.
ABC Family Sketch:
Kristen and Amy A. play kids on a show called
Mirror Image. "Haley" has a twin and they try to swap places to get away with doing half the work in school. The problem: Haley's twin is way fatter and stupid with a strange accent. When Haley winks to the camera and a little chime sounds, her twin winks to the camera and a fart sounds loudly. Because my husband and I think bathroom humor is funny, this is the only part that makes us laugh.
Couples Therapy Sketch:
Amy Adams plays a marriage counselor, Amy Poehler plays a haggard Russian bride, and Will Forte is the husband. All the bride wants is her citizen papers signed because she "gave the sex" on her wedding night. The therapist keeps pressing the couple to share feelings, and role play. It ends with, "You sign forms, I give one more sex." It goes on way too long and isn't that funny.
SNL Digital Short
Samberg is out it again. With short hair, in a shirt and tie singing above the city... it's a cheesy ballad making fun of someone but I can't really figure out who at this point. Suddenly he's in a super hero outfit but is still singing. He tries to stop a mugger, but gets the crap beaten out of him instead. Kinda satisfying actually. Speaking going on too long... the beating happens for a solid minute. Ugh.
Bravo Commercial
Amy P. plays the
Project Runway winner/ fashion expert from Bravo on a makeover show. All she keeps saying is "You're fierce, you're a tranny, you're a hot mess," over and over again. If I watched
Project Runway, I might think it was funny. Who am I kidding, no I wouldn't.
Vampire Weekend Performs
Preppy and poppy. Do I care? Nope.
Weekend Update
Chuckles but no big laughs so far. Will Forte comes on at Tim Calhoun who is running for president. He's quiet and stiff and this is so random and too long. I actually just fast forwarded through this. Not a good sign. It's mostly political jokes that are just so-so, and a pretty tasteless Nazi joke about fat German soldiers. Amy does a whole riff on a ghostbusters commercial and is pretty committed to it. Seth looks annoyed. Now Keenan is on as a French comedian Jean K. Jean... but he's totally sporting a ghetto accent and looks scarily like Re-Run in that beret. I have no idea what he's talking about. The writers were gone way too long to return with this kind of crappy material.
Traffic School Sketch
Amy A. plays the teacher and Kristen reprises her role as Penelope the famous one-upper who speaks really fast and then trails off. This is one of those classic sketches that's funny for literally 1.2 seconds, but they insist on dragging it out for 3 minutes.
Dr. Uncle Jimmy's Smokehouse and Outpatient Surgical Facility Sketch
Will plays a Mark Twain-esque creepy guy who owns the rib joint/surgery center. They've done some weird sketches before but this ranks up there with the weirdest... and lamest. Boo.
Roger Clemens Presents Sketch
Jason Sudeikis plays a 'roided out Clemens who's written a play called, "Guess What Dingbats? Steroids Are Good for Baseball." Amy A. plays a ballplayer that's gone off the juice and is now a scrawny weakling. Amy P. enters, also "tiny and useless" according to Roger. Jason plays Roger crazy and yells all his lines. Where's my mute button?
Tookie Styles Show on DVD Sketch
Keenan plays a cheeseball ghetto talk show host... kinda in the style of a local access shows. This poor guy doesn't get to do anything but the stupid stereotypical ghetto characters. Come on writers? Are you all still on vacation?
The Band Performs Again....
Celebrations Club Sketch
Amy P., Amy A., Casey and Kristen are all dolled up for a night on the town and enter the newly remodeled Celebrations club (that's playing "Celebration" in the background). They bust out in an old-school 8th grade dance routine to Rhianna's "Umbrella." Then they do it again to "It's the End of the World" by REM. You can see where this is going... they keep doing the dance to attract all the men that will be "all over them." I'm just over it all together.
Well, that's it for this week my friends. Let's hope next week's show with Jonah Hill from
Superbad will wake me up from this awful nightmare (otherwise known as the last two episodes of
SNL).
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