November 26, 2006: What Have You Done to His Eyes?
John Carpenter's entry,
Cigarette Burns, was my second favorite
Masters of Horror episode from season 1. (My all-time favorite MoH to date is
William Malone's
The Fair-Haired Child).
Cigarette Burns had everything in it that makes a horror film (even a short one) great: A unique, darkly mystical story; gorgeous photography; a deep feeling of dread; extremely shocking, perfectly-placed gore; an atmospheric musical score; and
Udo Kier. If you have not yet rented or purchased
Cigarette Burns on DVD, I highly recommend it. The episode itself remains one of the best of the series, and the DVD contains some interesting extras, including commentary by the master himself, John Carpenter.
See, I had to begin this entry by praising J.C., because I hate feeling "meh" about any of my favorite directors' work, and I don't like blogging about disappointment. Considering the title alone,
Pro-Life evokes a hot-button issue, and I expected to feel at least a bit stirred up, no matter which side of the fence the story may or may not have taken. I had hoped that the baby's being a demon spawn from hell would add in some delicious irony, and that
Ron Perlman would be a fundamentalist whack-job villain I'd love to hate. Sadly - very sadly, I have to say - by episode's end, I may have been slightly entertained but was mostly bored. The only irony present was that Ron Perlman, the main religious zealot of this episode, once took on the role of an actual demon spawn in
Hellboy.
The one good thing about
Pro-Life was "father demon." The main creature was one of the best non-CGI creations I've ever seen. It looked like
Tim Curry's Lord of Darkness from
Legend shacked up with a Urukai from
Lord of the Rings prior to the backyard barbecue. Pretty impressive. (Oh my god, I knew how to spell Urukai without looking it up.)
Once again, the detriment of this episode was the writing.
Pro-Life focused more on the situation than on character development, and provided little to no irony, because the story was so... simple. Haven't these writers learned yet? Horrifying Situation + Shallow Characters = Boredom. Horrifying Situation + One Ounce of Decent Character Development = True Horror.
I do know that the alarming trend of this year's shallow writing and character development can't be blamed on the hourlong format.
Masters of Horror season 1 proved that these directors can make an hour as deep and horrifying as a great feature-length film. From the interesting stories to the well-developed characters to the gore, these masters delivered the goods last year. Even the mediocre entries from season 1 provided some pretty deep stories and interesting characters. So what's the problem?
Bottom line: I know what John Carpenter is capable of, so I'd hoped that
Pro-Life would be the pivotal change to start the real roller-coaster ride this season. Right now, I feel stuck on a kiddie ride, and I'm bored.
Masters of Horror season 2 has been mildly entertaining at best, and disappointing at worst. Next week, I really hope that
Dario Argento provides that pivotal roller-coaster episode, because I really, really, want a season 3, so that we can see more great horror masters take the wheel. As far as masterful demon-spawn pregnancy stories go, I'll watch
Rosemary's Baby for the 200th time. Even though I know that movie inside and out, it could never bore me.
