August 6, 2007: Rush/Rios-Bolman
Oh, how I've missed the eccentric families of
Wife Swap. Their general wackiness can cure any case of the Monday blues. That said, let's start with Sheila Rush, an avid dog lover, whose husband, Ray, and son, Tyler, felt that they came last in Sheila's set of priorities.
For Sheila, her six dogs are her entire world. She doesn't want friends because she wants to have more time with her dogs. She makes her husband sleep in the downstairs guest room, while the dogs sleep with her in the bed. She spends a hundred thousand dollars a year on dog clothes (which seems atrocious and kind of sad, since that much money could probably clothe and feed so many needy people) and $3 a week on dog food. Her dogs eat fine steak off fine china, but her husband and son eat fast food off of paper products.
Sheila made me cringe a lot. She was definitely mean, like a little kid trying not to listen to anyone else's point of view because she considered herself the only mouthpiece worth listening to. She was just so cold and abrasive and poor Ray bowed to her every demand, even cleaning up the dog poop and watching whatever love his wife had in her go to the four-legged "babies" of the house.
I kept wondering what brought her to this point, what made her so anti-people. You could see Sheila's seething discomfort in social settings when Rob Bolman took her to a "communal happening" on his eco-commune. She stood with her arms crossed defensively over her chest, looking disdainfully at the eco-friendly partygoers. Someone asked if she wanted to get to know them and she said no. When others at the party came to sit by her, she got up and walked away.
We did eventually learn that she had difficulty with her father growing up and that he had disappointed her greatly. She loved her dogs because they could never disappoint her or upset her. But shouldn't she love and trust her husband, who submits to everything she wants and doesn't put up any kind of fight? Her husband acts like a puppy, but she barely acknowledges him. That's a huge problem. I don't know how much of it will rub off on their son, either, when he moves out and on his own. He's told to do his macho things, play football and wrestle, that the man should work eight to ten hours a day, but then he sees his father bow to his mother, sleep in the guest room, and not stand up for himself.
Sheila and Ray admitted at the table meeting that they love each other, but not the way that Rob and Melanie love each other. To me, it seemed like they could barely stand each other. And the big change Sheila allowed Ray by the end of tonight's episode? Ray got to "visit" the master bedroom and watch a movie with his wife and her six dogs, but then he had to be sent back to his place in the guest room. At least Tyler got to give up football. I found it really ironic that Sheila would tell Melanie and Rob that they need therapy, when it seemed like Sheila had the most issues of all and that she and Ray could use a good dose of marriage counseling, if not divorce. Rob was accurate in saying that Sheila was deeply wounded, but I don't think that should give her the liberty to verbally abuse whomever she wants.
On the other hand, Melanie and Rob, though they seemed like a nice and sweet and loving couple, did have plenty of odd issues, too. I didn't understand the dumpster-diving at all, especially when they seemed to be in a nice neighborhood with manicured lawns. It wasn't healthy to eat out of garbage cans. And what kind of family unit did their son, Skye, have access to? He lived in his own place adjacent to the house, which didn't seem like such a big deal to me, and he biked around the neighborhood with his parents to get food from garbage cans. They also peed into cups and used the urine to fertilize their gardens. Nonetheless, Skye seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.
I do commend Rob for standing up to Sheila. I also liked that Melanie and Rob seemed to really love each other. Sure, they lived on a commune, mediated a lot, made their own food (I'm not sure I want to know what "reclaimed onions" are) and banned toilet paper, but they genuinely loved each other. I don't see what's wrong with toilet paper. That spray thing on the toilet didn't seem like it could do the trick cleanliness-wise. (I did enjoy Tyler saying how he'd need "a lot of pressure" on the toilet spray and that he didn't like things near his behind). But they had a healthier marriage than Sheila and Rob seemed to have.
