June 20, 2007: Bank Statements
She's alive! I can't really take credit for predicting that correctly, as I never even entertained the idea that Sheila might be dead until I read some of your comments, which did pose a good theory. I suppose that's because I simply wanted Sheila to be alive. I did mistakenly get the impression that she was hiding out though, and that's not the case either. She's alive and well, playing with Tommy as always - lying to him, making him jealous with her volunteer fireman, spraying him with perfume:
Sheila: "It's Curious by
Britney Spears. It's fancy."
Tommy: "Yeah well, the mystery's over, she's a whore."
Sheila's version of the truth did make for a lovely story though, what with an attempted rescue by Tommy and then a tragic fall down the stairs. Funny, she totally skipped over the whole "Tommy I drugged you" part. I love that Tommy was more concerned with his alleged performance problem than with the details of the fire - so typical of him. And leave it to cousin Eddie to find a silver lining to this: using the performance problem as a strategy for Tommy's defense.
So we're not dealing with any life insurance claims here, just fire insurance and possible arson charges. Tommy should be able to beat those, right? After all, Uncle Teddy was finally able to beat his murder charges and be a free man once again. Of course, it's ironic that now that he's out of prison, he's forced to break out of the back of a restaurant in order to escape from a wife he no longer wants to be married to.
However, I don't think Mike's mom is going to be able to beat her cancer (since the guys are now calling him Mike, I'm going to try to do the same... but it's hard - he'll always be Probie to me, even though he's been a firefighter for years now). Despite Mike's hopeful plea that "she's like the Babe Ruth of moms... if anyone can beat cancer, she can," it doesn't look good. The doctor's reply was morbidly funny, but it also put things into perspective: "Babe Ruth - he actually died from cancer." I find that the exchange between the doctor and Mike is staying with me. One of the things I admire about this show is the quick pace they often use for moving story lines along (they do revisit things, but in general, they don't drag them out). But while I was still taking in the painful plotline about Mike's mom being sick, they hit us with a euthanasia subplot. I know Mike said yes, but will he be able to keep his promise, and if so, how will he do it? Whatever the outcome, I think it's going to be hard to watch.
Luckily, there was plenty of comedy last night to balance out all of these heavy moments, such as each firehouse sending scouts to try to recruit the good probie basketball player (Lou to Franco: "Quick, put your arm around me like I said something funny - I want to promote racial harmony in the house"). And Richie can always be counted on for a funny line or two: "I'm very, very sorry I tried to eat your ring." Then there's Baby No-name, who appears to be a few months old by now. Surely they can come up with at least one Irish boy's name before resorting to Katy's suggestion of Baby Pukeface. (That reminded me that I once had a doll I named Bucketmouth. Her facial expression was a permanent yawn, but I thought she was always trying to talk with this wide open mouth, so... Bucketmouth.)
But the funniest scene had to be another one of their infamous male takes on
Sex and the City: the "spank bank" scene at the firehouse. (I love that this show embraces euphemisms, as it makes my job much easier.) As Lou said, "Finally - a perfect fit for some fine dinner conversation." There were a lot of typical answers like
Jessica Biel and
Scarlett Johansson, but the best ones were the more offbeat answers: Tommy said
Ellen DeGeneres, which puzzled the rest of the guys. He defended it with, "What - have you guys seen her dance?" (I'm thinking that
Denis and Ellen are friends - I know she's helping the New Orleans fire department.) Nun-dating Lou named
Sally Field during her
Flying Nun days ("which explains my current situation"). Next came Sean's turn, and he mentioned Janet. "Janet who?" Uh-oh. "Janet... Janakowski." Way to think on your feet, Sean. "Janetfer Aniston" was even worse. I loved that Lou thought to collect all the knives. I expected Tommy to lunge across the table at Sean, especially by the time Sean was holding his glass and shaking as Tommy mentioned his daughter. Then Sean was literally saved by the bell.
And so the episode ended mid-action: After a real call, Tommy finally found out the location of runaway Colleen and her rocker boyfriend. He and his crew went racing off to the boyfriend's place, at full speed and with sirens blazing (great song they used here, too). Can't wait to see how this turns out. I also suspect that we haven't seen the last of the ghost of Johnny, who made his first creepy yet welcomed (and silent) appearance last night.
Check out links to
Rescue Me in our
Online Video Guide.
Also, here's a link to the site for the
Leary Firefighters Foundation; there's a section on the home page regarding the fire in Charleston, S.C., earlier this week.
