March 6, 2007: 1-2-3 PCD!
Hello, friends.
Welcome to the first blog for
The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. Before we dive into analysis, let me clarify a few things that I determined before the show started:
1) I've never watched
Veronica Mars. Therefore, there will be no "bring back
Veronica Mars" comments coming from me unless
Kristen Bell is one of the contestants. I may not watch the show, but I do know there can never be too much Kristen Bell.
Update: Damn, no Kristen Bell. [
Wink, wink]
2) I am not under the illusion that this will be the greatest show ever. I
am under the illusion that this will be one heck of an entertaining hour, and I hopefully will make it one heck of an entertaining blog to go along with it.
3) I will do my best to not constantly make cat references. "So-and-so is Purrrfect" will not be seen going forward.
4) I will also do my best not to randomly quote lines from PCD songs. For example: "I know the final nine girls have really big brains, but I'm looking at their [
beep]." I might actually be doing that, but I'll keep it to myself.
5) Finally, I will do my best to make sure that the first thing I say about every girl is not, "Dude, she's hot." I'm sure this will be the toughest one to follow.
Now that we have a few ground rules down, let me tell you how I prepared for the start of this show on Tuesday at work. I started off the day by listening to
Blood Mountain by
Mastodon, followed it up with
Get the Knack from
The Knack and then finished the day with PCD. I will claim to the death that I am a rocker, so this might be the least rock thing I've ever done. I'll accept that, too, but really, I just like music and frankly, PCD is a good disc.
It was interesting to read in
Matt Webb Mitovich's interview with Robin Antin how the new girl isn't a replacement for lead singer
Nicole Scherzinger. The search is simply to expand the group to seven. I have the CD in front of me right now, and I have no desire to check for the names of the five girls backing Nicole. You could replace the five of them with five other random, good-looking women, and I don't think I'd know the difference. Would you? Doubt it. To replace Nicole would have been interesting. But since I know that they are just looking for another background girl, does it really matter if they can sing? I'm sure Timbaland can tell even six marginally talented girls to sing in harmony and make it sound like radio gold. And I wonder how the existing five feel about this. I'm sure their cut of the royalties is already on the low side, so why don't we cut the cash one more way now! So, it's a bit of a strange start. But, for the purpose of this blog, we'll assess the girls just as they are being judged according to Antin. They need to be "sexy," "a good singer" and "the hottest dancer."
(Let me state up front, I'll do my best on the names, but they moved so quickly and were in such a bad font, you'll have to pardon me if I butcher one this week.)
So, in the setup we see the ultra-feminine belching of the "Pussycat Dolls" name. And we also get to see the ultra-feminine Mikey! Mikey clearly knows what he's doing, and quite a few of the ladies clearly don't. The one girl who said she's a singer not a dancer is in the wrong competition. However, the one who is a dancer but not much of a singer - she is on the right show.
Now, let's talk about the ladies who made an impression on me.
Out of the girls who sang "Hot Stuff," Shauntae sucked and Brittany was way off-key. Although Brittany made it through, so the judges must have heard something I didn't. I thought Melissa S. was the best singer of the group... nice range, good look. Sisely, though, is the girl who's going to get the most screen time. I put down my Mastodon to blog this show, and Sisely quit her punk band to "sing and dance at the same time." We're such rebels. I did learn one thing from her: A good night's rest is apparently the key to the entire world. She's the one all the girls are going to hate.
My least favorite girl, Anjelia, came from the group that sang "I Don't Need a Man." I'm extremely happy they didn't keep her. I hate that over-the-top drama, and she was all about it. Nothing was good about the six of these girls.
From the group that sang "Buttons," Asia must be the favorite. She's the cocky one of the group, and she thinks she deserves to be there; she'll go far. Sandra was the girl who baffled me. She just couldn't get the rhythm down. I mean, "Buttons" is only one of their biggest songs. You'd think you'd come in being able to sing not only the hits but the full CD, cover to cover. And I completely didn't get her statement, "Because of the loss of my parents, I'm not comfortable singing."
Of the nine who made it through, I would think that Asia, Sisely, Melissa S. and Melissa R. are the favorites so far. The only surprise for me is that Ewa didn't make it. She was the tall redhead with the smooth voice. I think she had a great look for the group. Actually, I'm wrong. The other suprise for me is that there wasn't a whole lot yet for me to laugh at. Awesome, it was not. But it wasn't a complete train wreck either.
Aside from the girls, just a few observations:
1) The judges sound really scripted. Really scripted. I know it's not live, so it has to be a little scripted, but neither was a reality show like
Top Chef, and I didn't find those judges sounding like they were reading right off the cue cards.
2) Did they really need to show puke? I understand that when a girl bends over in a bush (oh, you didn't just go there), she's yakking. I mean, I swore I saw actual food in that one close-up. I need to stop, as I'm about to blow chunks just talking about it.
3) Next week, we get to hang up boas! Joy!
Judging from the negative reaction to my welcome post already, I don't picture too many of you actually liking this show. But, let me know what you thought. Hopefully next week we'll get some funnier moments now that we've had a chance to actually learn the names of the girls.
Until next week, friends.
