October 5, 2006: The Coup
Et tu, Schruté? Let this be a lesson to us all - backstabbing and waffles simply do not mix. Dwight's attempt at a violent overthrow of the Scranton branch blows up in his face for a myriad of reasons: Jan's aversion to him in general ("You should talk to Michael and he'll talk to me and that way we don't have to speak to each other."); his fellow employees' lack of faith in him (as Pam put it, "I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe
that could be manager."); and, perhaps most obviously, his egregious error in daring to disparage Michael's car. Betrayal is one thing, but smack-talk a man's Sebring convertible and brother, it's go time. Fortunately, there's no dust-up so severe that it can't be resolved with equal parts groveling, hugging-it-out-b*tch and some good old-fashioned workplace shaming. If Dunder-Mifflin was a little more like Neptune High, I guarantee Dwight would have found himself duct-taped to the flagpole on front campus. I guess we'll just have to settle for the Scranton version: a file folder with the word "LIAR" emblazoned across it in black Sharpie.
And while subterfuge is the order of the day in Scranton, it's full-scale war at the Stamford branch - complete with sniper rifles and smoke grenades. Poor Jim was the coolest kid in the class at his old office, but he's having a little trouble fitting in with the "Call of Duty" crowd. Of course, it's that lovable, sweetly goofy side of him that makes us, Pam and, apparently, Stamford vixen Karen crush all the live-long day on His Halpertness. But here's the real question: Does it make me a traitor if I think Rashida Jones is adorable?
While I'm at it, here's a handful of other questions before we part ways for the week: Why does Michael keep his copy of
Varsity Blues in a safe? Who knew Jan Levinson
-Gould was such a sucker for a good outlet sale? And Pam: after-work clothes that aren't pajamas? I am utterly unfamiliar with the concept.
