September 19, 2006: Monica Wilder
First things first: A.C. Slater's got a nice ass! Did I ever think I'd type that anywhere? I suppose that's what you get when you spend most of your time
Dancing with the Stars and being
Bold & Beautiful. I think you'll all agree that
Mario Lopez has aged quite well. Whether I buy him as a plastic surgeon is a different story. I
did like that Mario's character, Dr. Mike, told Christian how he's able to look so good (besides working out every day): "I don't eat." And more dialogue I found extremely true: "I'm 33. Basic metabolic rates slow down every decade after 30." Tell me about it. I am always a Debbie Downer when my friends turn
that age and I say to them "Happy 30th... get ready for back fat!" Cue Debbie Downer noise. "Thanks, Debbie." The first shot of Mario exercising at the gym was reminiscent of his
Greg Louganis TV-movie. You knew that as soon as Sean told Christian he didn't want to perform the liposuction Christian wanted, he'd seek help elsewhere. Then, lo and behold, Christian was
Saved by the Bell -- Dr. Mike to the rescue with some "lunchtime lipo."
Sean (
Dylan Walsh), on the other hand, was a dirty bird, bangin' the prospective babysitter/night nurse Monica (played by
Lisa Whelchel look-alike
Jennifer Hall). This kind of surprised me, but what didn't shock me was that Christian figured it out when he saw the look on Sean's face: "You porked her!" The best look was on Nurse Linda's face -- she gave Sean a total "You sicko!" expression. While we're on the subject of Nurse Linda, how about
this for current TV trivia?
Linda Klein plays Nurse Linda on both
Nip/Tuck and
Grey's Anatomy, and she is a real-life nurse. Fellow Watercooler (oops, I mean "TV Show Commentary") writer Maya Schechter told me this after she interviewed the
Nip/Tuck cast last week. Linda only has a few lines each week, but it's cool that she's being featured more. Now, Maya, I encourage you to share your experience here, especially your one-on-one with Julian!
Nice plug for YouTube -- I liked that it was Liz and Linda who were ogling the footage of Christian having sex with his slut du jour. An ironically effective way to get Christian to realize he needs to hit the gym/get some lipo -- he got to see what
we get to see each week:
Julian McMahon's naked butt. "Plastic surgeons can't be fat." However, Liz calling Christian "chubby" is about as realistic as when Jack used to call Will fat on
Will & Grace. Not havin' it.
And poor Liz. She innocently offered to talk to the mysterious Michelle (
Sanaa Lathan) after she saw
Jackie Bisset feel her up and make out with her in the parking lot last week: "I'm here for you." But Michelle didn't appreciate the offer: "You're fired." Good thing Sean was able to convince Michelle to keep Liz on, albeit on a probationary basis. I dig any excuse for
Roma Maffia to be dramatic. Love her.
The guest-star-a-rama continued with
Peter Dinklage from
The Station Agent as Mr. Sawyer, one of the other prospective night nurses for Julia (
Joely Richardson) and Sean. Glad he told them he preferred not to be called "height challenged" and that he encouraged them to
hold their baby's hand before they change it. Unfortunately, I thought Peter's one scene was -- yes, I'll say it -- too short. Luckily, Julia wants Mr. Sawyer to be their night nurse, so he'll be back.
Side note: have you seen the ads and billboards for the new CBS show
Smith? An eerie close-up of
Ray Liotta's face turned to the side and a white harlequin-like mask next to him on top. Then the words "Tuesdays at 10 pm." Carver-vibes, anyone? The show even has the same time slot -- just a different network. Being reminded of the Carver as I'm driving home from work, I don't need to
see that!
