"Chaz Darling"
TV villains throughout the years have ranged from characters that you love to hate to those you simply just hate and wish would go away. Ben (
Michael Emerson) from
Lost, Alexis (
Joan Collins) from
Dynasty, J.R. (
Larry Hagman) from
Dallas and Abby (
Donna Mills) from
Knots Landing would fall into the first category. Eden (
AnnaLynne McCord) definitely belongs in the second one. Ugh! The character has no redeeming qualities - I actually cringe whenever she is on screen. Do I find fault in the actress' portrayal? No. I just think Eden is being written to be way too hateful. Interesting to know that everyone I talk to about the show agrees: Thumbs down to Eden! Same goes with most of you who have posted comments here (Michael Jackson's "You Are Not Alone" runs thru my head when I read most of the comments).
When Eden first appeared in this episode, it seemed she was heading in a better direction. When she encouraged her BGF (Best Gay Friend) Chaz (
Jai Rodriguez from
Queer Eye) to come to McNamara/Troy to fix the enlarged areola surrounding his left nipple, I was hoping she was just trying to be cordial by bringing the boys new business. No such luck. It was only a matter of time that Eden would try and get her clutches on Christian, threatening to tell Sean that Christian slept with Julia. Christian was definitely my favorite character this week since he was able to set Eden up by giving her all those prescription drugs and making it look like she came to him out of desperation. It was also wonderful to hear him tell her she didn't need liposuction. It was about time Olivia and Julia took the guys' side over Eden's and agreed to forcing her to go to rehab for six weeks. Although it was an awesome moment when Eden exited and said she'd tell Sean everything once the six weeks are up, we all know the 18-year-old is not going to last that long. Side note to FX: If you're readin' this, please start heedin' and quit feedin' us Eden. Or at least sweetin' her up. I hope I'm not beatin' a dead horse here.
Speaking of beating a dead horse, we all knew it was inevitable that Sean and Kate wouldn't last. After the diarrhea-in-the-hot-tub scene a few weeks ago, their courtship hasn't exactly been exciting. First Sean got her to dress up in a school girl's outfit, which brought on the hot sex Sean was yearning for. But after their unsuccessful attempt at partaking in a swingers' party, their relationship went down the toilet for good. While I'm on the subject, I hope Sean, Christian and gang get to experience more LA-specific adventures. A good friend of mine back in Chicago gets a kick out of telling me about the swingers' parties she attends there in the suburbs. So just in case any of you've never heard of them, swingers are everywhere, not just here in L.A. That was
Boris Kodjoe from
Soul Food as Mr. Forrest, the party host who came to McNamara/Troy to get rid of his back-scratch fever.
My favorite guest star was
John Schneider as porn empresario Ram Peters (nice name). It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how Kimber was going to come up with money to fund her and Matt's crystal meth addiction: go back to porn. But how hilarious was it when Ram shot down Kimber's bid to get herself back in the business and then suggest that Matt give it a try? I never thought I'd ever hear
Bo Duke or
Jonathan Kent say these lines: "Whattaya say we give your hubby there a shot? I saw the pregnancy video you guys did online - it was very good." Then to Matt: "You got talent and besides, you're
packin' a fire hose down there and that's marketable." Oh no he didn't. Yes, he did, but thanks to Kimber, Matt actually
didn't end up doing that gay porn film. I guess we won't be seeing any coming attractions for "First Time Fairies II" featuring newcomer Matt McNa
rama as Ricky Boy, the "sloppy bottom" getting that strip search in prison. I enjoyed Matt's brief fantasy of a cleaner life with Kimber, but with Kimber sleeping with their drug dealer Rob (
Joel Bissonnette) towards the end, let's not expect that clean life anytime soon.
Other random things I'd like to point out:
- When Chaz first showed Christian his enlarged areola, my first thought was: "Now
there's a nip that needs a tuck."
- It was the pot calling the kettle black when Eden referred to Julia as "the Witch of Eastwick."
- That Ram's porn business had day care for their staff and that Ram's wife Busty (
Lisa Arturo) supervised it. I loved that Busty recognized Kimber from her...years of hard work.
- That Ram knew right away that Kimber was a meth addict due to her weight loss and bad skin. Oh, Kimber. Hugs, not drugs!
- I am loving the continual slams against Scientology. Kimber to Ram: "I got mixed up in a church. They took all my money."
- Best
P.J. Bloom music choice: "That's The Way (I Like It)" by
KC & the Sunshine Band played while Sean had sex with "school girl" Kate. As KC so eloquently put it: "Uh huh, uh huh."
- After Kate told Sean: "At least you didn't want to have sex with an Albino amputee," I thought: "Hmm...don't rule it out, Kate. Ya never know on this show."
- Funniest scene was Sean desperately trying to get Kate to quickly leave the swingers' party with him by saying the safety word they came up with: "Big Wheel." Crickets. "Big Wheel." Tumbleweeds.
"Big Wheel!!" Exit stage left.
- How about the overly honest dialogue between Sean and Kate that lead to their breakup? After Sean admitted that he had to fantasize about other women during sex with Kate post-hot-tub-incident, Kate followed with: "I think your ass is flat" (after praising it earlier). Sean: "I think you're gonna get fat again." Kate: "I think your wife became a lesbian because you made her feel horrible and she hates men now." Sean: "I only asked you to marry me because I was scared, not because I really loved you." Truth hurts.
- Truth also helps, so I was glad to hear Sean admit to Christian at the end that he's still in love with Julia.
Read no further if you don't watch the next-week previews. I look forward to more self-parody as
Nip/Tuck goes the reality route with Christian convincing Sean to have their lives depicted via a new reality show called "Plastic Fantastic." Feel free to comment about this week and next week, but since several people here hate spoilers, please include the word "spoiler" if you talk about next week.
That would truly be fantastic.
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