"Carly Summers"
Why hello, strangers. It's been ages since I've blogged about
this show (10.5 months, to be exact). I'm hoping that most of you will agree that the Season 5 premiere was well worth the wait, especially after all the hype and advance publicity (awesome job, by the way, FX). After four seasons in Miami, it was a welcome change of pace seeing our favorite nippers and tuckers start anew in our country's plastic-surgery capital, Los Angeles. As we expected, Christian (
Julian McMahon) and Sean (
Dylan Walsh) started out as small fish in an extremely large pond once they hit L.A., or to be exact, Beverly Hills. It was crickets and tumbleweeds for McNamara/Troy's new Rodeo Drive offices until Fiona McNeil came along. One of the things that helps you make it here in Hollywood is a powerful publicist, so meeting Fiona in that nightclub was excellent timing. Right away, I have to point out the fabulous casting of
Lauren Hutton as Fiona. Lauren is one of the few actresses over 60 in this town who publicly refuses to get plastic surgery, so hearing her say those lines about certain aging starlets not getting work if they look too old rang true. Lauren hasn't acted in years, so it's a hoot to see her play this part. Publicists don't have to necessarily look beautiful and ageless, but their clients sure do, at least the ones in front of the camera. I'll get to
Daphne Zuniga as Carly Summers later.
As for the clients
behind the scenes, looks are obviously not as important. Fiona reps the out of shape but hugely successful Freddy Prune, creator and executive producer of "Hearts 'n Scalpels." This show-within-a-show comes off like a parody of
Grey's Anatomy meets
Nip/Tuck. How perfect for Christian and Sean to become not only medical advisers for Freddy's show, suggesting unique surgeries to dramatize, but also periodically appear on the show themselves.
Oliver Platt seems to have morphed into
Nathan Lane as Freddy, and that's only a good thing because I've never seen Oliver play gay before. Luckily, he does it quite believably and is a riot, thanks to a very funny script by show creator
Ryan Murphy, whose smart idea it was to move everything to Beverly Hills.
That's the one most noticeable thing about this season premiere: more humor. Even funnier was
Jennifer Coolidge as Candy Richards, an actress guest-starring on "Hearts 'n Scalpels" whose character ends up getting a procedure suggested by Sean and Christian. Since I can't type the "P" word here, let's just say her character had skin surgically taken from "down there" and placed on her burned mouth area. Now, combine that "P" word (another name for kitty cat) with the word "lips" and there you have it. I had to rewind twice to hear Jennifer refer to her vagina as her "Lady Cha-Cha" because I was laughing so hard. Jennifer's best line (keeping in mind that her character was molested by her father when she was a little girl): "My father touched those lips! It's a constant reminder - I just can't wear my shame on my face!"
Other highlights:
-
Bradley Cooper was hilarious as Aidan Stone, egotistical star of "Hearts 'n Scalpels." His overacting during the medical scenes? Brilliant. As for Aidan's fixation with his hair ("You see this hair?
This is why people tune in"), I have two words:
Patrick Dempsey.
-
Roma Maffia hasn't lost her spunk as anesthesiologist/voice-of-reason Liz, who still knows how to tell Sean and Christian exactly how she feels. I'm glad Liz came with them to L.A., albeit with only one of her own kidneys.
- Although we only heard Matt's voice tonight, we at least know he and Kimber named their new baby daughter Jenna after fellow Scientologist
Jenna Elfman.
- Former
90210 and
Melrose Place actors are popping up everywhere on TV these days, and I don't mind it one bit. Daphne Zuniga was fantastic as fortyish romantic comedy actress Carly Summers, who just lost out on a big movie role to
Cameron Diaz since she wasn't young-looking enough. Hmm... I wonder who Carly is based upon? So many candidates....
- Very effective editing during Carly's surgery, simultaneously showing Christian's hair-plug treatment. And Daphne did a great acting job during the post-surgery scene where she said: "I didn't think it would be so painful." I was waiting for her to say: "Mommy, Mommy, my pigtails are too tight," which is what I expect most of the surgically enhanced actresses here in Hollywood to say whenever I see them in person.
- What a rude but appropriate awakening it was for
Christian to be the one that the producers and director felt wasn't "TV friendly" because of his receding hairline and bad hair-plug job. The fact that they edited Christian out but kept Sean in was a figurative slap in the face that Christian needed. Yay for Sean - nice role reversal.
- Interesting ending with the jealous Christian suffering from "Me, too, Mama" syndrome and calling up the
Us Weekly editor to anonymously give her the scoop on Carly's face-lift: "Doesn't matter who I am, but the surgeon who did her work is Dr. Christian Troy." He's gone Hollywood all right.
- Kudos as always to music supervisor
P.J. Bloom for always playing the most appropriate songs at just the right moments. Best example: "Love Hurts" by Nazareth during the post-S&M damage surgery. Another doozie: "New Kid in Town" by an Eagles-sound-alike played as Sean was giving out his business card to a potential new client at Hollywood landmark Pink's (the hotdog stand that annoyingly always has a long waiting line, no matter what time of day).
One lowlight:
- Speaking of the S&M scenes, I was a bit grossed out by the bloody nipple scenes with
Craig Bierko as studio exec Bob Easton. You'd think by now that nothing would make me squeamish on this show, but those scenes with
Tia Carrere as dominatrix "Mistress Dark Pain" were painful to watch. Ouch. But the painfully believable performances by Craig and Tia definitely belong in the highlights section. Tia, by the way, is one of the many stars whose career has been revived by appearing on
Dancing with the Stars. (She has also been terrific this season on
Curb Your Enthusiasm.)
So what did
you think? Were you as pleased as
Matt Roush and I were to see Sean and Christian in their new 90210 environment, or do you wish they'd head back to Miami?
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