November 10, 2006: The V Word
Masters of Horror
creator and writer Mick Garris said that
The V Word wouldn't be a romantic depiction of vampires, and that's definitely true. However, these vampires are not the breed found in cynical, doom-and-gloom existential metaphors like
The Addiction or
Habit, which is what I was anticipating. Instead, Garris himself wrote a pretty straightforward "teens explore crypts, get bit, get undead, get hungry, get gone" type of story. Michael Ironside, the ugly, angry vampire, was about as entertaining as Jack Nicholson in
The Witches of Eastwick; too bad we didn't see more of him. I don't know why he carried a parasol in the graveyard, but what I don't know probably won't hurt me.
Even though
The V Word wasn't misted, shadowed and full of velvet and candelabras, Garris paid his respect to the romantic vampire by writing in some noticeable nods:
- Ironside's character, "Mr. Chaney" (pretty obvious), is a nod to Lon Chaney, who was first considered for the role of
Dracula (1931). The character wound up in the more than capable (cape able?) hands of Bela Lugosi.
- Lugosi and Browning's
Dracula received airtime on "Justin's" TV as he was first visited by his recently "turned" best friend.
- The extended, looming shadows of a sharp-nailed hand reaching out and chasing the boys ahead of the vampire resembled Francis Ford Coppola's leering shadow effects in his rendition of
Bram Stoker's Dracula. (I don't know if this was Garris' doing or director Ernest K. Dickerson's doing, but it was effective.)
- Blood by needle reminded me of George A. Romero's
Martin.
- Blood by glass-slashing reminded me of
Near Dark's more gritty, realistic style of... uh... acquisition. (Definitely not romantic.)
- "I don't drink wine." (I slightly rolled my eyes over that one. Come on, it's so obvious!)
- The vampire-with-a-conscience character development reminded me of
The Lost Boys' tormented character, "Michael," only
The V Word didn't follow the standard "kill the head vampire, save the others" rule.
- I couldn't tell if the garlic on the pizza was really affecting "Justin," or if it was just another nod to classic lore.
- Horror cross over actress gets a mention:
Silent Hill's
Jodelle Ferland plays the role of "Justin's" little sister, "Lisa."
- A surprise zombie reference gets an honorable mention: "They're coming to get you, Barbara!"
Overall,
The V Word was neither spectacular nor awful. I'd call it a popcorn episode meant more for entertainment than visceral, disturbing horror.
The V Word will not be listed among my top MoH favorites, but it also won't be on my "worst list." It was simply a linear, suspenseful, haunted-house ride that didn't rise up (pun intended) to my high standards for the on-sreen depiction of my favorite monster, the vampire.
