Season 4 — Episode 7
Before I get into the main part of this episode - the trip to Bora Bora - I've got to begin by saying how happy I was that mama Maggie was featured so much. I never expected to enjoy watching the antics of an 87 year-old woman as much as I do, but this episode was very Maggie-centric, so I was loving every minute of it. Since Maggie is too frightened to fly these days and wasn't able to join Team Griffin on their trip to Bora Bora, she was still prominently featured before and after the trip. Now don't get me wrong. I still watch this show first and foremost because
Kathy cracks me up. But
after Mrs. Kathy, Maggie is my favorite.
I will now tell you why this episode, one that mostly took place in Bora Bora, did not bore-uh bore-uh me, by, of course, listing the highlights:
- Setting the tone for the episode, Kathy was first seen doing stand-up and talking about her mother (which meant I was smiling right away). Kathy said she wanted to put together an "old person's survival kit" that included such pertinent items as a cell phone without features like call waiting "that does nothing...old people are f---ing stoked!" and a Life Alert. Kathy: "'I've fallen and I can't get up!' and then I'd push her, just to test it."
- Kathy decided to finally grant Team Griffin one of their wishes from
The Secret board they started. Since I am unfamiliar with the secrets of
The Secret, I did not know that the book suggests writing things down on pieces of paper that you yearn for, in hopes that they'll come true (I'm already deciding never to read that book). So one of the board items Jessica and Tiffany created was a trip to Bora Bora (an island in Tahiti) and Kathy took the bait. Only problem for Kathy was that
she had to work while Team Griffin got to play.
- Kathy was not havin' Maggie spending so much time with Patrick, one of Kathy's best gay friends: "My mother mostly hangs out with her gays, which used to be
my gays...before she stole them from me!" Kathy wants Maggie to hang out with people her own age: "I want my gays back!"
- We learned this week that Maggie doesn't know how to swim. Kathy: "What?! Name five things you
can do." Maggie: "I had five kids. I've gotcha beat there, Kath." You go, Maggie!
- Once Team Griffin arrived at the beautiful resort in Bora Bora, one of the first things they saw was a school of piranhas swimming at the hotel. Kathy: "That's like Hollywood. Like every audition I had in the '90s."
- Kathy is similar to some of the comedians and comic actors I personally know who just don't feel like being "on" all the time when they are out in public. Kathy's real reason for going to Bora Bora was to perform on a gay "on land" cruise. Yes, she was getting paid for it, but this trip was definitely work, not play, for Kathy. Whereas Team Griffin considered it a vacation, Kathy was kind of dreading it. But the light at the end of the tunnel was that she
thought she'd be performing for her core audience of gay people.
- Turned out the group was 60% gay and 40% straight, so poor Kathy was freaking out since she was more confident performing for all-gay crowds. I loved watching Kathy go table-to-table so she could size up the crowd. Who knew the craziest people there would be the straight people? It was a learning experience for Kathy meeting the divorced couples who were there together, unhitched, yet having sex with each other. Kathy: "Divorcees with benefits. My world is turned upside down. It's a
Peyton Place around here!"
- Kathy learned that not all predominantly gay audiences are supportive, especially when she bombed after making fun of gay couples who adopt babies, or as Kathy put it, "gay-bies." They obviously don't know that Kathy makes fun of
everyone. She does not discriminate.
- Comedian
Mario Cantone softened the blow for Kathy by telling her he feels the same way she does, but he hates
all children, not just gay people's kids.
- When Kathy saw one of the straight guys the next day by the picnic at the beach, she felt obligated to give him face time since he was mostly surrounded by gay people: "He's not getting enough straight time. He feels neglected. I feel like I should blow 'em or something." That one made me TiVo back twice, I was laughing so hard.
- Kathy, giving an interview with a travel magazine, couldn't answer the reporter's tough question: "
Bette or
Cher?" Kathy: "Did you ever see that movie
Sophie's Choice? Because that's what this is like. Pass!"
- Kathy admitted to not having any facial work done for the last five years and has "no Botox in my forehead. I can make
full expressions. I'm the only person in LA that can do that!"
- When Kathy returned to the Bora Bora stage post-bombing, she compared herself to J-Hud: "I'm the white
Jennifer Hudson...from
Dreamgirls, on my knee saying 'And I am telling you...'" Kathy was determined that they were gonna love her.
- That weird Todd guy certainly creeped Kathy out, but luckily, she warmed to him after witnessing everyone else respecting him. Kathy was a hit in her final night there.
- Back in LA, Kathy's plan was to take Maggie to a retirement village, a.k.a. senior day care, just for a visit. Lo and behold, Maggie enjoyed it. Perhaps it was the wine tasting portion?
- Although I thought Maggie would be peeved, she ended up accepting all of Kathy's "old people survival" gifts, even the new scooter.
So we have two more new episodes, plus one final one for the season that is a best-of compilation from all 4 seasons. Before our new episodes run out, Kathy fans, let me know what you thought of
this week's episode.
You can watch more
Kathy Griffin videos in our
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