Season 4 — Episode 4
Further proof that Kathy's big mouth (you know, the one that I love so much) does indeed get her into trouble: we got to learn this week that Kathy has been re-banned from
The View. Kathy's been banned from a lot of shows, but, per Kathy: "This is my first
re-banning." Seems executive producer
Bill Geddie wasn't quite ready...to forgive Kathy for something she included in her recent Bravo special
Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell. For those who missed it, Kathy hilariously recalled her conversation inside the
View hair & makeup room before her last appearance where the discussion was K-Y Jelly and other lubricants.
Babs Walters allegedly said: "I prefer Astroglide." Apparently, sharing makeup room conversations with TV viewers is a no-no, so Kathy was re-banned from appearing on
The View. As
Stockard Channing so eloquently put it as Rizzo in
Grease, "Some people are so touchy."
So, even though her gig at Madison Square Garden was sold out, Kathy still wanted to do some press while she was hitting the Big Apple again. Since Bill Geddie blocked Kathy's
View, assistants extraordinaire Jessica and Tiffany came up with a sure-fire way to get Kathy some NY press: they found an engaged couple living in Queens willing to have Kathy marry them. Thanks to J & T, Kathy was able to get a license to become an ordained minister off the
Internet a la Joey from
Friends. (Side note to give you another reason why I appreciate Kathy's sense of humor so much: my youngest brother Mike Anderson did the same thing and performed the wedding ceremony of my middle brother Steve Anderson and his wife Vicki Anderson. Per Steve's request, I sang Andy Gibb's "I Just Want To Be Your Everything" in the key of
Andy during the service, just to show you how religious most of my family is.) Perhaps the best line of Kathy's: "If
I can become an ordained minister, then religion as we know it (pause) has never been better! I love Jesus!"
Other highlights:
- Kathy had to break the news to mama Maggie about
The View. Maggie, outraged: "I'm not watching any show you're banned from!" How many mothers have said
that to their daughters? Maggie insisted that Kathy had to "kiss ass -
that's what counts in this business!" Now
that sounds like
my mother.
- Kathy, after she was told the couple getting married was a straight couple named Elka and Brian: "That's not their drag names?"
- Since Kathy wasn't able to wear her fancy Carolina Herrera outfit on
The View, she decided to wear it to
Rosie O'Donnell's house in New York. She felt it was appropriate since Rosie knows a thing or two about
not being on
The View and saying controversial things.
- Somehow I knew that Kathy wouldn't be into crafting like Rosie: "I hate crafting! But that's why God invented assistants. They're
paid to craft for me."
- The best part of the Rosie visit was the trade-out that Kathy and Rosie made: Kathy, thanks to her pal Steve Wozniak, will get Rosie into the
TED conference in exchange for Rosie taking Kathy to see
Cher in her opening night concert in Las Vegas and then introducing them. Kathy: "I basically traded Steve Wozniak for Cher."
- Although watching Kathy get together with two of the bad girls from Oxygen's
The Bad Girls Club (Tanisha & Hannah) didn't make me want to watch that show, I did love hearing Kathy try to talk and act like them. Now we know that to "pop off" means to beat someone up.
- Kathy wore her Golden Globes dress for the marriage ceremony, but her best accessory was her hair. Kathy called herself "the high priestess
Farrah Fawcett. I know - I went a little over-the-top with the hair."
- I thought Kathy was going to
pop off Samantha, the wedding planner from hell, especially during the ceremony, as Samantha stood behind the curtain giving her instructions like
Mr. Slugworth in
Willy Wonka or the "wizard" in
Wizard of Oz. I was waiting for Kathy to say: "Pay no attention to that bitch behind the curtain!"
- Just as it was great to see Kathy socialize with
Margaret Cho last week, I enjoyed seeing Kathy have breakfast with fellow funny ladies
Megan Mullally and
Molly Shannon. My favorite part was hearing what each of their "airport questions" are. Molly's: "Are you the lady who plays the
Superstar?" Megan's: "Is that your real voice?" or (lately) "
Tina Fey?" Kathy's: "Try 15 years of '
Kathy Lee Gifford?'"
- It was also quite interesting to learn that Megan deep-tongued
Rob Lowe during the filming of a movie Kathy is obsessed with (as am I):
About Last Night. Speaking of movies
I'm obsessed with, I just realized I've made references to my Top 3 all-time favorite movies in one blog:
#1:
Wizard of Oz
#2:
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
#3:
Grease
- Kathy asked Megan and Molly advice on how to be a better celebrity, asking if they have ever been banned from a talk show. Although they both support Kathy, neither have ever been banned, but Megan suggested to Kathy to get her own talk show and told her: "F---
The View! Who cares?"
- Kathy's sold out performance at Madison Square Garden was so successful, the next time she performs there, she might be in the arena portion on New Year's Eve. Kathy: "That's where the Knicks play...and that's a really popular football team. So suck it!" Yes, she said football. I. Love. Her.
- Luckily, publicity whore Kathy got the amount of press she was hoping for, with coverage of the wedding appearing in
In Touch Weekly,
National Enquirer & other tabloids, equipped with "pretty pictures." Kathy: "Look at me! I'm the prettiest minister in a wig you ever saw! Ooh...I love it!"
Thanks once again for your comments, Kathy fans. Don't stop.
You can watch more
Kathy Griffin videos in our
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