February 12, 2007: Goodbye, England's Rose
OK, I know it's cliché, but sometimes you really don't know what you've got till it's gone. However, since this
is the week of Valentine's Day, I guess it's only appropriate that we got a lesson in love. How strange, though, that this lesson came to us courtesy of Charlie and Rose?
First, major props to Berta for some priceless moments tonight. Especially during her exchange with Charlie on why he never gave Rose more of a chance. His reasoning: "This is a woman who stalked me, who spied on me, who snuck into my house to write her name and address in
my underwear." Funny how Charlie would later use said underwear to track Rose down and beg her to stay, but we'll get to that later. Now, I have to recount Berta's priceless response: "Oh, boo-hoo. Somebody cares about Charlie. Nobody ever wrote their name in my underwear. Wait, one time. The Department of Corrections." Too funny. I wish Berta was my wisecracking maid. Heck, I wish I had a maid, period.
Meanwhile, Alan was left to his own devices to find love, via an Internet dating service. Now, I can't say I've ever tried one of those before, but I've heard that some people have a tendency to, let's say, embellish some personal details. So, I wasn't surprised to hear that Alan wrote that he likes to "spend quiet weekends puttering around my Malibu beach house," or that he is a "chiropractor to the stars." It was funny, though, when Alan's date arrived and Charlie suggested that Alan was trying to kick him out of his own home. Alan was quick to point out, "Well, no, if you read the profile, it's
my house."
The scene to follow only got better, as Charlie was forced to pretend he was the "poor brother" in front of Beverly, Alan's date, played by
Allison Janney. It was fun to watch the Harper brothers engage in role reversal, especially when Charlie claimed to be "flat broke again," forcing Alan to cough up all of his dough to get rid of him for the night.
So, Charlie heads for the bar, where Rose finally tracks him down and tells him that she's moving to London. Charlie, of course, doesn't believe her and throws in some good lines about how her family business involves work at
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. All the while, Rose tries to explain that she's leaving because their "relationship isn't really progressing along the path" she had hoped for.
In the end, Charlie realizes that he really does want Rose to stick around. So, he checks his underwear (for Rose's address) and finds himself on her doorstep only, it's too late. Even grabbing her and kissing her won't make the furniture magically reappear in her empty house. Instead, Rose heads off to a waiting cab and bids Charlie adieu.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Alan is tied up, literally, in a bustier and red stockings! I definitely didn't expect to see that sight behind Alan's door. Another priceless moment.
So, what did we learn tonight? I need a maid? That's a given. Not all stalkers are bad? No, that can't be it (I'm trying really hard right now not to make an astronaut joke). No, I think it was Alan who summed up the night best when he said, "Well, we all make mistakes."
