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October 22, 2006: Nice She Ain't

As Brenda Strong's narration mentioned, "Sabotage - everyone is capable of it, but some go about it more ruthlessly than others." Sabotage was definitely the theme tonight and the title of the episode was, appropriately, "Nice She Ain't." This would apply to Gaby, Edie, Bree, Nora and eventually Danielle. The victims of the sabotage? Carlos, Susan, Danielle, Lynette and Mr. Falati (Danielle's teacher). Let's break it down.

Gabrielle and Carlos are having their own War of the Roses. I didn't think I'd enjoy watching them fight back and forth like they did, but since their battles were done in humorous ways, it was worthwhile. Eva Longoria was the comedy MVP again with so many funny lines. I think my two favorites involved Gaby trying to make Carlos jealous by pretending to date his business associate Phil Lopez ( Marco Sanchez). After leaving the hot tub with Phil, Gaby shouted to Carlos: "I'm making a snack for Phil. You want something to eat? Some sour grapes, perhaps? Maybe a little crow?" Even funnier was Gaby simulating loud sex with Phil, but then having to whisper to him that he wasn't really going to be having sex with her since she wasn't into him that way. Phil: "But in the hot tub." Gaby: "Yes, you saw my boobs. And you're gonna have that mental snapshot to use as you wish for the rest of your life. But that's (screaming, as if in the heat of passion) all... you're... getting!!" I was happy Carlos got to get back at her after siding with Phil and figuring out her sex act was just that - an act: "Oh yes! Yes, Phil! Fill me with Phil!"

How wonderful to get some good Edie scenes tonight, and Edie was at her sabotaging best with Susan. You just knew Susan was not going to be pleased after realizing it was Edie who turned Mike against her. Yes, it was silly for Susan to have to pay someone to abduct Mike from the hospital, but can you blame her? Anything to get some quality memory-jogging time with her man. Watching Susan do her usual pratfalls, of course, made Mike start to remember her a bit, but Edie had the upper hand when Mike asked to be brought back to the hospital. That scene had the best Edie-Susan moment. Susan: "Evil does not triumph over good." Edie: "That's how you see me?" Susan: "Damn straight. You lie, you cheat, you scheme, you ruin people's relationships. How do you sleep at night?" Edie: "Soon? With Mike on top of me - if you know what I mean." Susan: "See? Evil. Evil!" Earlier, I laughed out loud when Edie thought Susan had B.O., but it was just her macaroni and cheese that stunk: "For God's sake, take a bath!" And we can't discuss awesome Edie lines without including this gem (in reference to Susan): "She's been like this ever since Mike dumped her. Imagine Fatal Attraction with a much older woman."

Danielle turned into a Bree clone when it came to manipulating, scheming and yes, sabotaging her teacher/lover Mr. Falati after he broke it off with her. After Danielle told Bree and Orson that she got Falati fired, Orson (after Danielle left the room) said: "I must say that was rather underhanded." Bree: "Yes, I wonder where she gets it?" Shawn Pyfrom (Andrew) had some great lines earlier in the show. First one was during family dinner after Orson praised Bree's spring lamb. Andrew (about Danielle): "She doesn't like spring lamb. She prefers old goat." Then, after Andrew saw Danielle fake-killing herself (to Bree and Orson): "Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. Don't rush - she's not trying that hard." Later, at the hospital (to Bree): "She tried to slit her wrists with a spoon. How upset do you want me to be?" Doctor: "Her wounds are superficial." Andrew: "So is the patient." I'm glad they're making Andrew much more likable and funny, and not just a snot.

Just when we were lucky to have a Noraless episode last week, she was back. You just knew that when she was eavesdropping on Lynette and some of the housewives talking about Tom's new pizza-parlor idea, she'd be stirring up trouble. Can we please have Nora shipped overseas somewhere? I just don't buy Lynette being so naive. Why would she believe Nora and think that Nora really thought Tom's business venture was a stupid idea? Lynette just bought into Nora's dastardly plan to sabotage the Scavo marriage. By the way, the little girl who plays Nora and Tom's daughter, Kayla, is Rachel Fox, who portrayed the young Sydney in flashback scenes on Alias in its final season.

While we're talking about recognizable actresses, if you were wondering why the gal who played Julie's friend Sarah looked so familiar, that was Mae Whitman, who played Ann Veal on the late, great Arrested Development. You could tell Sarah was setting her sights on Austin, so it did not shock me to see them cavorting inside the car. Nice Julie line to Susan, after Julie caught Sarah with Austin and Susan whined about Mike: "Let it go - he's not into you." I bet Julie hated emulating her mother.

Amidst all the sabotage, we got more info on that mysterious woman's dead body. The phone number found on the body was Mike Delfino's, so we're getting closer and closer to learning what Orson's connection to Mike's past is. You must check out the October 23-29 issue of TV Guide magazine for more clues. On pages 26 and 27, my pal Mary Murphy wrote a fabulous article about " Desperate Housewives' fresh batch of neighbors." Go buy it - you won't be sorry.
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