"The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial"
What would Larry David do? That's going to be my moral barometer from now on. Think about what he would do and do the opposite (hey). On the other hand, while I wouldn't toss 50 bucks to the floor just to get out of a funeral, I'd probably be one of the vultures diving for it, so should I really be one to judge?
Let's try to follow the chain of events. Larry reams out a woman for abusing the ice cream sample policy - a woman who later turns out to be dean of admissions for the private school that the Davids, the Blacks and the Greenes are all hoping their children will attend. Because Larry can't purchase flowers for the dean with the money that came from Marty's jogging shoe, he has to steal a bouquet from Marty's mother's roadside memorial. To patch things up with his wife and Loretta, he steals
two more bouquets. Since Marty keeps track of the memorial (and has a freakish sense of smell), he discovers what Larry has done, and after more sample abusing and grave robbing, Larry and Cheryl have to flee from Ida Funkhouser's funeral under cover of money. As Susie, in her infinite wisdom, pointed out to Larry: "Just knowing you is a liability."
And what's the fallout from all of this? We know it's bad when even Jeff loses it ("I am f--ked, and you f--ked me!"). First and foremost, little Sammy Greene may not get the best education in Los Angeles. Second, Marty has threatened to pop Larry's head off of his neck for desecrating his mother's memorial, and finally, Larry still can't get no satisfaction. Luckily, he's a self-identified expert in apologizing, since he's "been apologizing to people since [he] was 6 years old, on a daily basis."
While Larry works on breaking things down and rectifying them, take some time to look over some of the greatest WWLDD? insights from this episode:
" "You're a little too old to be an orphan."
" "In fact, the customer is usually a moron and an ass--le!"
" "I don't particularly like children. That's why I don't have any. But I like being called Daddy."
" "Did you take those flowers from my mother's site?" "How many flowers does she need?"
I'll meet you all back here next week. I've got to go now - I heard some change hitting the floor in the hallway.
