January 15, 2007: Past, Present and Runaway Brides Returned
Great golf opener. Putt like a third grader, tease like a teenager ("You married a stripper, right?"). Laying the cards out on the green pretty much proves that everyone on this show has some major baggage/issues/potential to self-destruct.
Like Nicole, for example. With her hoodie up and whisper on, it's all about baby steps to acquiring motherhood wisdom, and let's just thank friendship that Deena knows what she's doing (or, by default of Dave's two-handed transfer). OK, self-destruction is avoided here, but baggage? Ohhh boy....
Marjorie's name is uttered after a
very long hiatus, and all the swarming madness that comes with it just came rushing back. Meanwhile, Adam and Heather are robbed by a Summer fan and the flat-screen/LCD/hi-def/whatever-it's-called no longer swivels. We knew her quitting "dancing" couldn't be
that easy, right? You may have bought out the club, Adam, but now you have no TV to watch when you snuggle up with your former lap-dancing wife, who probably collected most of her tips in S-shaped dollars.
Is Nicole covering her unwashed new-mommy hair under hoods and hats? She's clearly suffering from indoor, baby-only, doing-it-on-her-own exhaustion - "No wonder you look like a tornado hit you." Ouch. Note to Uncle Brian: Don't disobey a new mommy's rules about her precious handful of joy. And some advice for the experienced mommy? Straightened hair (did she borrow those extensions from Paris Hilton?) and a red Oscar dress (good call, Dave) won't stop your separated husband from dating the pigtailed 20-year-old who is actually nice and not annoying enough to be evil... yet. Plus, she noticed the hearing problem before the parents did. I understand Deena's nerves about Roxanne taking over and her kids adoring the new woman in Dave's life, but she needs to get a hold of herself! The Dave-Deena competition is still going. But in a release from the bickering over their usual mess, the moment at the doctor's office erased all my anger toward their situation.
Ever seen a ghost? Even
I felt the couch move beneath me when Brian saw Marjorie outside the steak house. (Side note: Ivy cracks me up, and she still has these occasional expressions that remind me of her cynical Meghan character on
Felicity.) And just like that, we're back where we started. "If she walked through the door right now, what would you do? How would I know you don't want her? How would
you know?" Bravo, Bridget.
I can't believe Schmitty (
Patrick Fischler) is actually suing Heather! This should be interesting. Will Adam defend his own wife against an ex lap-dance lover? Isn't that a conflict of interest? I can wait for that ending... but what I
can't wait another week for is this disaster that just came back to haunt us all. I'm half worried/half excited that Dr. Marjorie is back in town with a new 'do and a lot of explaining to do. There was something about Brian and Adam standing next to each other with those cold looks in their eyes that made it seem like they had won, beat the virus, spun her out of their universe. I kind of felt proud of the guys, after all they had been through, and even though the previews suggest otherwise ("Your new life will self-destruct in five, four, three... "), I'll just leave it at that.
