The Top Four Revealed!

• May 1, 2008 02:23 AM ET
• by TV Guide News

OK, so let's face it; last night was as boring as whale sh-t. Bet you didn't know whale shizzle was boring, but it is. And last night's show almost made it seem interesting. And was it me, or did Neil Diamond not make the greatest mentor? Or maybe they just cut it all out for time's sake. Either way, I was disappointed.

Tonight, the Idols begin with a medley of ND songs, starting off with snooze-fest Jason Castro singing "Cracklin' Rose." However, the others come in with some awesome harmony which saves the song. They keep going with more songs and end with their hands in the air like they're the Osmonds or Bradys. It's weird and stagey. So, moving on....

Ryan points out that Constantine and Gina are in the audience... not just to say, "Hi," but to pimp out their new American Idol post-show gig for Fox. Ugh. Next. Then we get a recap of last night's performances.

Wow. In an unusual move by Idol and Seacrest, they address the rumors about Paula's behavior last night (basically, everyone said she was drunk). Ryan said, "The rumors aren't true. Paula's part of our family and we love her." Cut to Paula looking teary-eyed and Simon leaning over to plant a wet one on her cheek. I'm going to refrain from making any smart comments here. It's hard, but I will refrain.

Elimination time! Jason's out first and he's safe. Seriously America? What's your damage? The guy needs to go home. Archie is safe as well. Surprise, surprise.

Now we get a preview (more Fox pimpage) of So You Think You Can Dance. I do love that show though... except for crazy-ass Mary Murphy and her banshee scream.

Eliminations continue... Cook is safe, of course. At least you got that one right, America. He brings Brooke and Syesha and just blabs on and tortures the poor girls... and we know we're just going to watch Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield perform first.

Natasha "Ginormous Choppers" Bedingfield performs an annoying song called "Pocket Full of Sunshine." But what do I know, she's sold a bazillion records. Seacrest says Archie wants to ask her to prom after she hugs him like a teddy bear.

Ugh. Questions from phone callers. Simon does his Rocky and Bullwinkle hand gesture while some chick asks Simon if he thought Paula's or the chick's kiss was a better performance. While I do delight in Simon's embarrassment, this is just so ucky.

ND is up and he sounds great as always, but talk about boring! His band dancing in the background is more interesting. Now it's picking up a little... he actually said, "Ow!" and is gyrating his hips around. Yikes! Look at the back up singers! They aren't "Pretty Amazing." They're pretty scary.

The real elimination now: It's Brooke's turn to go home. I know it's her time after that awful "I'm a Believer" last night, but I thought Jason deserved to go first.

What did you think of tonight's decision? Are you going to miss Brooke's emotional drama?

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