April 4, 2007: I Don't Want to Smile
If I wasn't blogging
AI for
TV Guide, I would stop watching this show right now. Before I even get to a brief blow-by-blow, I have to step out of my usual banter and say something about the state of this competition. I understand "drama" makes for good television. I understand that the producers can't be happy with everything going along as it should. "Life isn't fair," I can hear them shout. But that any lackluster singer can remain safe while perfectly great singers get sent home is just a travesty to the competition and to singing in general. I realize that since pop music often consists of "artists" who have no voice to speak of and are merely offering manipulated tracks under heavy musical artillery (Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, you get the point), it makes complete sense that
AI voters are engaged in keeping Sanjaya, Phil and Haley around. Unfortunately, I am really discouraged by the outcome of this week's show, (though losing AJ, Sabrina and Stephanie so early on was also a shame).
The show was a sad disappointment all around. I couldn't bear to watch the Ford video, so I sped through it. Then Ryan grouped the contestants into threes and it became obvious fairly quickly which were the bottom, middle and top three. The first safe group consisted of the sunshine stars Melinda, Jordin and LaKisha - no surprises there. The next three to sit were Chris R., Blake and Sanjaya. Need I even say it? And finally, Gina, tucked in the middle of Haley and Phil, looked so upset. I don't think she'd been in the bottom three yet, and it had to smart to be put there while Sanjaya remained safe.
The next disappointment was that Tony Bennett, who I was dying to see sing, had the flu. Michael Buble subbed for Tony. He looked a little like Chris Penn (RIP). One thing is for sure: He can sing. I'll give him that, even though he has terrible enunciation. He sang "Call Me Irresponsible," and it was a great choice for his voice and tone. During the bridge he ran over to the band and performed some freakish dance thing; I had no idea he was so strange. He told Ryan he still votes for Antonella Barba. I'm not even sure that joke works anymore. It would have been funnier if he asked whether he was wasting his vote if he voted for Sanjaya. Hahahahhhahhaha.
Then for the final three. Ryan said he could send one back to safety, and the audience yelled out, "Gina!" But then, to my great dismay, he said "Phil is safe." What? I can't stand it. Ryan told us there were just under 33 million votes. And then he said the words I never want to hear again: "Haley is safe." (Choking sounds.) Gina is going home. Forgive me, but I became verklempt. I needed a minute. I am not ashamed to say that that made me very sad. There were a lot of tears. You know how much I loved Gina, and I figured she had a good three or four more weeks in her. I thought she might even surpass LaKisha. But it would seem that the world and I are not on the same page. (Get it? A pun. My last name is.) She got to reprise her lovely version of "Smile" and then my TV cut her off! Hopefully it went well.
The only way this show can make it up to me is if Melinda sings "Maybe This Time." I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best. If Haley, Phil and Sanjaya don't bring the heck out of it next week, I will stop eating. No, that would be too hard and someone else already tried it. I'll just have to focus on the ones who really deserve to be there.
Aside: They finally announced the songwriting competition and gave virtually no details. So for all of you aspiring songwriters,
click here and get those music sheets ready and get writing!
