December 3, 2006: "Dude, I'm Such a Hot Giant Chick Right Now!"
Well there you go - I'm guessing none of us imagined
that would be our lineup for the final three. Tyler and James? Sure. Rob and Kimberly? Why not? 'Bama over the Beauty Queens? Wow. I thought there was a fantastic hint of foreshadowing just outside the garden maze, when one of the blondes (I think it was Kandice) finally acknowledged Lyn and Karlyn's brains-over-brawn strategy as having actual merit: "They're calmer - it's pretty smart, actually." That was one of several phrases in this leg that I had to go back and listen to more than once, because I couldn't believe my ears. A couple of the others included the typically petulant Karlyn coming clean and apologizing to Lyn for her bad temper (are you listening, Rob?) and Rob (seriously, Dude, listen up) actually using the words "Way to go, way to cry" to berate Kimberly mid- breakdown after she received one too many tomatoes to the face. It's frustrating to see that sort of behavior rewarded with a first-place finish and apparently complete forgiveness. (Hearing Rob say he wants to win the money so that they can start a family only makes me imagine a horrific Little League experience in which a tearful Rob Jr. refuses to get out of the Volvo until Daddy stops screaming.) I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy in stress-free situations, but c'mon - we all have to learn to take a deep breath and count to 10 sooner or later. Might be nice to try that out a few times before you bring your hell-spawn into it. On a completely different note, am I nuts for thinking that camel-kebab looked damn tasty - you know, aside from the heinous dangling head outside the butcher shop and all?
You never know what's gonna happen in the final leg of the
Race, but if I had to put money down, I'd say Tyler and James are gonna walk away with it. Rob and Kimberly are far too likely to spaz out and make a foolish mistake, and as much as I'd like to see 'Bama surprise everyone with a victory, their physical limitations and Karlyn's insufferable attitude would seem to be handicaps that they just can't overcome. I do think it's a shame that Dustin and Kandice won't be racing for the million bucks, simply because they were one of the most formidable teams I've seen in a while. Granted, they got on my nerves - asking the models to throw a footrace so they wouldn't get stuck with the 30-minute penalty... classy - but so did Rob and Amber back in Season 7. Something tells me we just might be seeing both pairs of crazy-competitive and supremely-photogenic Racers next year in the all-star edition.
