As I sat on my couch pre-Hey Paula premiere, Ben & Jerry on my left and Jake & Maggie (my Persian cats of honorary Gyllenhaal descent) on my right, I had no idea what to expect. My masochistic “I love watching a train wreck” side wanted the reality show’s first episode to play out like the premiere of The Anna Nicole Show, tacky and tragic in the most entertaining of ways. However, my “inner fat kid who used to choreograph routines to 'Shut Up and Dance' in my backyard” secretly yearned to see my favorite '90s star shine.Well, after viewing two episodes of the new series, it’s safe to say that neither side of my rival watcher's wish lists were fully satisfied. There were brief moments of La-La Land tragedy, like when one of Paula’s four teacup puppies were caught chewing on her $1-million Grammy ring. (Aw, how cute is that?! Her dog’s chew toy costs what I make in 33.45 years!) But most of both episodes were padded with the typical ind...
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