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Jeers: You Call That Dancing, Marie?

Marie Osmond by Carol Kaelson/ABC

Jeers to Marie Osmond for providing the most surreal moment in Dancing with the Stars history - and that's saying something. For her freestyle number, the long-shot finalist grotesquely made herself up to look like a wind-up doll and performed a bizarro routine Bruno Tonioli aptly described as "Baby Jane meets the Bride of Chucky." (Osmond lamely explained that she's a doll designer and dedicated the performance to collectors.) All I can do is paraphrase "Start Me Up," the Rolling Stones song that accompanied the debacle: She made this grown man cry.

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