is back! Yes, I know the answer to the question that has been hounding us all since we last saw you. "Who is on the plane?" And the answer is still what we all knew last season"Not me"! That's all I can tell you or I will be killed. I don't think any of you will want the surprise ruined anywayexcept for you sick, instant gratification types who will sneak a peek under the wrapping on your Christmas presents two weeks before the actual date. But I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
I would like to use this forum to address another issue concerning this matter. As some of you may or may not know, I am a stand-up comic and have been performing around the country during our hiatus. And everywhere I go, you have all told me who you'd like to have on the plane. "I like Thorn, that Jeremy Sisto is such a real man." "I like the baseball player. He's rich and dreamy." A couple of you nerdy tech types even wanted the otanist. Then there were the purists, and the debate rose between Brendan and Bobby. Both too good looking to dare make a choice. That's just a win-win situation. I think one dude even wanted PJ's brother to be on the plane to give it that "Jerry Springer dating-my-sister" vibe. But not one of you said, "Honestly, Jamie, I would choose you, and I'm not just saying that because I saw your stand-up show and realize that you are the 'thinking woman's choice.' I honestly believe that you, Jamie, who plays Mike (the red-headed one), has the depth, intelligence and caring that I look for in my men. And under that rough exterior lies the heart of a man capable of insurmountable love. If it was me, (insert your name here), I would really enjoy taking you to a foreign country." I mean, c'mon, I play the clown, but I have feelings too. Is it so far-fetched that PJ would choose Mike for a romantic getaway? Maybe they're the remedy to each other's dating ailments. Sure, it's a stretch. Yes, it's extremely implausible. But crazier things have happened. Serial killers on death row are getting married. A 126-year-old mummy named Hugh Hefner has found love with three different hotties. Dog the Bounty Hunter has found wedded bliss! Am I that disgusting a catch? Shame on you for not even imagining that I could be Prince Charming. I'm sorry, but I had to get that off my chest. Let's move on.
Let's set some parameters. This blog will be my forum to engage you, the audience, in weekly banter that will give you a little heads up on that particular episode's shenanigans, as well as a little place for me to spread my particular brand of humor. It will probably be like the blogs for Lost or Battlestar Gallactica, except with fewer polar bears. I can tell you that Reid Scott is a Cylon. Believe it. Looks like that aren't born. They're manufactured.
Anyway, responses to my blog are welcome and will be dealt with on an individual basis. And I know how you people think when you're tucked anonymously behind your keyboard surfing the web in the wee hours of the morning after a night of drunken debauchery. You can say some messed up s#@t. And if you're coming to see me live this week (wherever I am, schedule pending), you will see that I do, too. All I ask is that you are witty. Filth for "filthy's sake" is not sexy. But funny is funny no matter what horrible things you say (see also, South Park, Richard Pryor, F'ing Matt Damon). So, let's do it!
This week's episode is entitled "The Transitioning"and yes, you'll see who is on the plane, and how "the best laid plans" usually end up without the word "laid" ever being used. While on the homefront, the boys find that a new weapon to be used in the constant pursuit of their favorite pastime has disastrous repercussions. Trust me. It will all make sense after you see it.
To me, "The Transitioning" sounds like a title of a horror film. It's got that dark, 1970s, Peter Fonda, strange cult, middle of desert, human sacrifice vibe. Am I crazy? Or have I watched too much television? Maybe one of you can come up with a cool slug line for the title. You know, like "two boys from separate sides of the tracks face off in a battle of wits for world domination." It's read in Mr. Moviefone's voice. We'll have a little contest where I'll pick the best entry and award you my gold star of hilarity.
It was great shooting the episode. We were all happy to see an end to the writer's strike, and it was fantastic to see the cast and crew again. It was like we all got back from summer break and picked up right where we left off. The one recurring thought from all the actors was the immense number of fans that we ran into during our off time who loved the show and asked, "When is
coming back?" So, to all of you, a huge thanks for your constant support of the show. And I hope you enjoy the new season.
That's it for this week. So, let me know what you think, and I'll see you next week for the episode entitled "The Dinner Party".
premieres its second season on Thursday, June 12, at 9:30 pm/ET.