Wow! I was just about to turn in this week's blog, procrastinating as usual and pushing it down to the wire, when I got a call from
that we are picked up [for the full season]! It was extremely bizarre because I had just finished typing his name moments before. I never thought the words, "I was just blogging about you" would come out of my mouth. Anyway, I promised that you would all know the moment I knew, so here it is. And if that wasn't enough good news, they're moving us to the slot after
beginning Nov. 30! Exclamation points are actually warranted here! I know some of you were enjoying having something good to watch on Friday nights, but it looks like you're going to have to go out to dinner instead. So here's this week's blog - and I guess there will be more of them to come!
A new episode of
Men in Trees
premieres tonight [at 9 pm/ET, on ABC], and so the Bergl blog is back. I'm sorry I didn't post a little warning that there wouldn't be a new episode last week. I know that my mother, for one, was disappointed. But we have a good one tonight, "The Menaissance." During this episode I got to go to a private
concert. (Do they really pay me to do this?) There was no lip-syncing going on that day. Jewel honestly has one of the purest voices I've ever heard, and she's from Alaska, so she lends an additional element of authenticity to the show.
I love tonight's episode because it's all about friendship. It also marks the return of Jane, editor and BFF to Marin (
). I can also make some BFF claims on the actress who plays Jane,
. BFF, in case you didn't know, stands for "best friends forever."
BFFs, because they're always hanging out together on set. Seana and I are rarely on set at the same time because we haven't had any scenes together yet, but we live in apartments across the street from one another in Vancouver. With all these great BFFs around me, I started thinking that there isn't a lot of advice out there for friendships. We read books, newspaper columns and TV shows about how to make our relationships work, but rarely our friendships. I'm trying to become a better friend (and often failing in that endeavor), but I thought I'd put together a list of ways to be that best friend forever. After all, with all this new technology, it can be hard to keep a friendship between texts and e-mails and voicemails. I've written it from the perspective of female friendship, but I think you men could find some advice for your BFFs as well.
How to Be a Good BFF
- Try to be good about calling her back, but also try to be understanding when she's busy.
- Turn off your phone when you're hanging out together. Yes, sometimes we need to take calls, but you certainly don't want to spend time hanging with your BFF while you are just talking to other people.
- Have her phone number memorized. If she's really your BFF, you should always be able to call her, even if the batteries die in your cell. I was with a friend of mine recently, and we needed to call her husband. She told me that we couldn't call him because she didn't have her cell phone, and she didn't know his number! I waited for so long to get a cell phone, I actually have all of my friends' numbers memorized. I know that some people think this is a little extreme, but we all knew each others' numbers before we had cell phones - remember those days? OK, I'm not advocating that you memorize everyone's number, but I do think your BFF's number should be committed to memory.
- Texting is fine, but texting
doesn't constitute a friendship.
- Don't call her when you can't really talk, like when you're ordering at the deli. (Cell-phone etiquette should really have its own subheading.)
- Don't keep her waiting for you too long. I'm of the mind that 10 or 15 minutes is usually fine, but when you start losing the table or missing the beginning of the movie, it's time to make a change.
- Always make sure the compliments you give her are guilt-free. I've noticed that when women compliment each other, they'll often follow it right up by insulting themselves: "Those jeans look great on you. My big butt would never fit into them." Then usually the other woman will say something like, "Oh, no,
butt is so fat right now." How about just ending it at, "Those jeans look great on you," which will be followed up with a thank-you?
- Ladies, if you don't want to sit down to pee, lift the toilet seat up. OK, this might not be BFF advice, but you should be doing this for all BFFs in general. If you're afraid of germs, fine, but don't leave your splash for the sisters after you!
- Let her eat what she wants, when she wants, without a lot of jabber about it. If you're on a diet, don't talk endlessly about carbs while she's eating that bagel. And just because you're getting the fries doesn't mean she has to eat them, too.
- If she breaks up with her boyfriend, wait a while to tell her what a jerk he is, because they might get back together.
- Never blow her off for a man, unless it's an extreme circumstance. If James Tupper's identical twin wants to suddenly whisk you away to Paris, I'm sure she'll understand, in which case, take her out to dinner to make up for it.
- Be understanding if she blows you off for some action, unless it becomes a habit. In such a case, she's no BFF.
- Recognize the times when she needs honesty, and the times when she might not need to know your opinion.
- Fight fair, then move on. If you're really going to be best friends forever, you're going to end up having a fight eventually. I tend to be afraid of conflict, so this one's hard for me. But sometimes avoiding conflict is worse than actually having it, so understand that two people always end up disagreeing about something. If they're your BFF, no disagreement should be too big to get in the way of the friendship.
- Let her know you love her. (I love you, Christa!)
So those are my thoughts on friendship. These certainly aren't hard and fast rules, and I'm sure I'll be violating some of them, but I count myself as extremely lucky to have some amazing friends. And I'm even luckier that some of them are on
Men in Trees
. In fact, you can enjoy them on tonight's episode!