Sex in Aisle 4
'What Women Want'
This is our fourth episode and my favorite. Without giving too much away, four of our characters get it on. It's a make-out free for all. There's also a fight- two characters end up with black eyes. What more could you ask for?
This was my first real kissing scene as an actor and I was scared to death. Actually, I had a brief kiss in an episode of 'Jesse' on NBC. I played Christina Applegate's mute brother- probably the easiest gig of my life. I had a network job sandwiched between 'Friends' and 'Frazier' (by the way, I think 30 minutes of black screen sandwiched between 'Friends' and 'Frazier' would get good numbers). I got network money and I didn't have to learn any lines! Although I have to admit that is sort of what I'm doing now. Since the show is improvised, I don't have any lines to learn, but somehow it doesn't feel as easy as those salad days on 'Jesse'.
My character, Junior, had to make-out with a girl in the bar Christina Applegate's dad owned. The director of the episode cast an extra to be in the scene with me. She was super young, super hot and super interested to break into Hollywood. I was worried about my breath, my wife and my job and all the while she was peppering me with questions about 'the biz'. "How did you get this job? How did you get an agent? What do you think I should do to get an agent? Once you have an agent, how do you get an audition?" I had no idea what to say. I hated to tell her that there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to this business and, truth be told, my advice would be to get a real job and save yourself a lot of heartache.
Finally the scene was up and we went in for the kiss. As I pressed my lips to hers and I did what I had been doing to my wife (at that point she was my fiancé)- I started to put my tongue in her mouth. It was out of habit, I swear! I immediately caught myself but it was a nanosecond too late. The actress opened her eyes and gave me a look: "What the hell are you doing you creepy old guy who has a small part on a Must-See TV show without any lines!" She avoided me on the set after. I deserved it. But it WAS an ACCIDENT.
So here I am, years later about to do my second kissing scene. Thank god it went without any hitch and, while I cringe when I watch myself kissing, my wife says it comes off fine. I'm a hell of a lot more comfortable doing the ridiculous funny stuff but if the job requires that I kiss a gorgeous actress, hey a man's got to do what a man's got to do.
One interesting side note to this episode is that while we were shooting, there was a hold up in the store. The grocery store we shoot in is open for business while we are working. A lot of the customers you see in the background are actual people just doing their thing in the store.
As we were wrapping up a scene, suddenly a bunch of cops rushed into the store. A few seconds later the escorted a guy out with his hands behind his back: cuffed with duct tape. Apparently the undercover security guard saw the guy pull a gun, stopped him and wrapped a duct tape around his wrists holding him until the police arrived. We stood there with our jaws dropped- after all, we're just a bunch of wimpy theater nerds. I talked to the security guard later and asked him if this kind of thing happens a lot. He said the gun thing is kind of rare, but that EVERYONE steals. He said that you have no idea how many people rip off the store. He says that by working his job, he has lost total faith in humanity. The people you think would steal stuff, steal stuff, but also the people you wouldn't thing are crooks rip the store off. He told me that he'll have a sweet elderly couple check out with a full cart of groceries but they have stuck a tube of medication in their pocket because they didn't want to pay the five bucks. Amazing.
With that in mind, I have stolen some outtakes from the show and posted them for your free enjoyment:
Next week is our final episode and it does not disappoint. Jennifer Elise Cox, who plays the evil Amy Anderson is back and better than ever.