An extract from a true story taken from the Fictitious Journal of Adhir Kalyan:I walk down the aisle, raise my hand, and run my fingers along the products arranged meticulously on the shelves. One item, not in keeping with the host of products attempting to grab my attention, is slightly out of place, and as a result, grabs my attention. It is only when I slide it into its intended position that I notice the six numbers and two letters:BB: 05.23.07I cannot quite come to terms with what I have just seen. Perhaps I don't want to come to terms with what I have just seen, for maybe the trauma would be too much. I resist the inexorable realization like a wave that does not wish to crash on to the shore but knows resignedly that it will do just that, and reluctantly acknowledge that the best before date of May 23, 2007, has come. And gone. More than three months ago.But the resignation is replaced by anger. This box of cookies has been wasted... is unwanted... has expired.I really should ...
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Ahhhhhhh, it's another beautiful day here on Stage 28. This week on Rules of Engagement (Mondays at 9:30 pm/ET, CBS), we've got our lovely guest star, Heather Locklear, back for another episode as Audrey's sister, Barbara. I don't want to embarrass her, but I'm dying to ask her the question that's on everyone's mind — What is Adrian Zmed like in person?So, Heather and I are working on our scene today, and, all of a sudden, we realize we've actually met before. Holy cow! It was sometime in the early '90s. I was a sophomore in college, working in L.A. for the summer, and she was on Melrose Place. We met at a party for her show, where I sat with her and her then husband, Tommy Lee, drinking tequila and playing "Would you rather." (For the uninitiated, this game involves posing two horrifying, repulsive and/or sexual scenarios to someone, and then forcing them to choose which one they would rather experience.) I learned several things that night:1) Heather Locklear is about the swe...
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Let me begin by apologizing right away for some lackluster blogging. I will immediately follow that apology up with telling you that none of it was my fault, which is how we roll in my family. Due to a technical difficulty, my second blog never made it to your screens that week, even though it was finished (which was caused neither by me nor the prescient Matt Mitovich of TVGuide.com). Then the following week I caught the flu, which is making its way through our set like nobody's business. I knew this virus was bad when our cameraman, Keith of the iron stomach, got sick. I wouldn't be surprised if the Men in Trees set was quarantined (just kidding… but its been spreading pretty quickly). Nothing could stop me from blogging about our next episode, "I Wood if I Could." I know I tend to extol the virtues of all our episodes, but this one is a favorite of everyone on our show. This episode has it all: sex, near sex and mud wrestling! Our writers, Chris Dingess and Cara DiPaolo, tea...
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Our week in Wyoming was great. Ty, Eduardo, John, myself and our new guy, Rib, had a great time out in the rolling fields of Cheyenne, helping the Miller family. This family was stuck in a home that was physically hurting the family — levels of radon gas that were way above the dangerous limit. They didn't have the money to rebuild or to move. They were stuck. So to us, demolishing this house meant great things for this family. Kaboom! Get ready for the biggest, baddest, loudest, craziest demolition that you have ever seen on the show — so big that we all had to stand no closer than 300 yards away. Even from 300 yards away, you could feel the earth move, you felt the heat of the fireball, and parts of the demolished house came floating down out of the sky. That's right, for the first time in Extreme Makeover: Home Edition history, we actually blew up a house. Although the exact number of sticks of dynamite changes depending on the person you ask, I think we had over 300 st...
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Meredith here from The Office! The big-time show that takes place in small-town Scranton. How can I describe our cast trip to Scranton? Where do I start? I have returned from the first annual Office Convention, in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where we were treated like royalty. Were you there? Did I have a drink with you? Did I do anything stupid? Steve [Carell], Rainn [Wilson], John [Krasinski], Paul [Lieberstein] and Jenna [Fischer] were absent but all the rest of the cast were there. They missed out! Too bad. I have never met so many wonderful people in one weekend. Everyone wanted to sign my cast. The sweetest fans in the world. I have never been offered so much booze before. It was a major good-time party. The town of Scranton literally closed the schools and opened its heart to us. The families who volunteered were so terrific. Lots of big Irish-Catholic families that I can relate to. The insanity began with Al Roker, 3,000 screaming fans and the University of Scranton cheerleading...
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I'd like to say that I have some juicy stories about a weeklong bender in Vegas to regale you all, but frankly people, I'm broke. And I'm not Hunter S. Thompson, nor do I have access to his drug arsenal. I did, however, lose a wager recently when I bet our staff writer, Jake Coburn, that Roy Orbison was blind. Apparently, he just had poor eyesight and wore those sunglasses purely for vanity. Vanity! I was convinced he was the white Ray Charles. I lost 20 bucks, and that is exactly why I don't gamble — 'cause I lose my shirt every time and the money always goes to evil conglomerates or in this case, Jake Coburn (author of Prep, LoveSick, and the forthcoming Jake 360). Same difference, really. Luckily for you, there will be no betting on Roy Orbison in this week's episode, just an old-fashioned high-stakes poker game. With billionaires.In this week's installment, "The Game," Tripp and Simon Elder go head to head in a no-holds-barred battle of wills. These billionaires aren't play...
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Splash, right back into the breach as we dive into the worst possible prison: Sona. The sick, twisted writers once again have conjured a fantastically frigged-up storyline that will rocket us through what so far is a wicked Season 3. I think this year may be our best season yet. Yet again it is proved true that no character is sacred on this show, except for, of course, Michael and Lincoln. Bellick's still alive... and I still got a job!So far the themes for Bellick in Season 3 have been "tighty-whities" and Tiger pants. I spent a month walking around set in my grunds... covered with dirt and dried movie blood, sweating my bare ass off in the 105-degree Texas sun. Then the writers put me in MC Hammer tiger pants with a nasty short T-shirt. If I hear one more, "They're gr-r-rreat!" or tiger growl, I'm gonna go postal. The whole tighty-whitey thing was the writer's riff on an idea I had in the last episode of Season 2. There is a scene where Michael is walking down the hallway in Sona...
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This week we're in Pinon, Arizona — actually the far northeast corner of Arizona on the Navajo reservation — and we're here to meet a very special Navajo family, the Yazzies. Mom Georgia and her kids: Geralene, Garrett, and Gwendolyn. Gwen has epilepsy and severe asthma and they were heating the house with coal. Coal is expensive, does not burn clean air and was basically wreaking havoc on Gwen's respiratory system. Being the great brother he is, Garrett began looking for a way to help his sister and he came up with something pretty amazing. When he was just 13 years old he had an idea to heat his family's home. He used 16 tin cans and an old radiator from a car to create a solar heating system to warm his family. Now this didn't go unnoticed, he received many awards and accolades but his dream didn't stop there, he contacted us to let us know that his family still needed help. The home, a trailer, was basically falling apart all around them. Garrett Yazzie has asked us ...
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The following entry from Emily Bergl got "lost in the Alaskan wilderness" and was meant to appear last week. Her blog will next be updated Nov. 2.Welcome to our second episode of Men in Trees. I hope you enjoyed our premiere last week, especially after such a long wait. I'm having a hard time remembering juicy stories from this episode because we shot it nine months ago! Or maybe I'm blocking the whole experience out because it was around the time of the Super Bowl. Those of you who have traversed this blog before know that I am from Chicago, which means I have an unquestioning and undying love for the Bears. It's probably not healthy for me to revisit that time in my life, although the current season really isn't much better for my psyche.In "Chemical Reactions," Jack and Lynn are planning for their wedding, as are Annie and Patrick. I can reveal that forget-me-nots, Alaska's state flower, will be prominent in Annie and Patrick's nuptials. This flower may be ominous for episodes to...
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A birthday is the most depressing day of the year… or at least it is for me. Usually mine is spent drinking myself into a stupor and then crawling into a ball and crying, wondering where my youth went. I'm sure I would be singing a different tune if on my birthday I inherited 25 million dollars. While the drinking and crying would remain the same, the tears would be of joy, not despair. If I inherited that much money, I would quit my job and move to Hawaii where I would body-surf and work on my rock opera, "Your Love Is a Bidet." Alas, since I won't be inheriting anything anytime soon (except maybe my father's backne) I guess I'll keep my job and continue on as your faithful blogger. I hope you're all happy.In this week's episode, "The Bridge," Juliet and Jeremy turn 25, and stand to inherit 25 million big ones each — but first they'll celebrate by spending a million dollars on their yearly bash. The party-planning comes to a screeching halt when Juliet refuses to include...
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