Vito Scotti

With one week to go, Jamie and Paul's wedding plans shift into high gear. But Jamie has replaced her craving for cigarettes with food, causing her to gain weight. And, as the gravy boats pile up and the guest list swells, Paul discovers that his tailor isn't all he was thought to be. To top it all off, Paul's sister Debbie has suddenly separated from her husband, casting a uneasy pall over the upcoming wedding. While getting fitted for her dress, Jamie's weight gain becomes quite apparent, and she's not at all happy about her new size. But when Paul suggests that they skip the ceremony and just get married on their own, things take a turn for the worse. He accidentally opens Jamie's gift for him, and then admits he didn't get anything for her. At their respective bachelor parties, Paul and Jamie each seek solace from their friends and relatives. As Jamie looks for some reassurance about her weight, Paul seeks advice on how to remedy his mistake with the gift. Finally, after getting some sage advice from a stripper, Paul uses a portable phone to call and console his bride-to-be. The night before their wedding brings even more problems, including last minute revisions of the seating plans and Jamie's unruly complexion. While the rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a joyous affair, it only heightens their anxieties, especially after Jamie's father barely acknowledges Paul's gift of some hard-to-get Cuban cigars. Learning that tradition dictates spending their last night before the wedding apart proves too much for Paul. After breaking down and calling her from Ira's, Paul and Jamie meet at a street corner where their minister, who also happens to be a utility repairman, agrees to a private ceremony right then and there. Finally, having gotten married their own way, they gladly proceed with the ceremony for their friends and family who are none the wiser. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

Charles begs Buddy for help when he makes too many commitments for one night. Also available on iTunes

A motorcyclist robbing people turns out to be Jon's old football teammate. Also available on Amazon Instant Video and VUDU

When a genius businessman is found murdered at the clubhouse for a Mensa-like organization, Columbo has dozens of brilliant witnesses. Samantha Eggar, Theodore Bikel, Sorrell Booke and a very young Jamie Lee Curtis guest star.

Sister Bertrille plummets to a jungle island when the wind drops, her cornette limp and torn. She is frightened by a naked footprint and meets Carlos Ramirez. Swearing revenge, he reports that April Chance, resenting his advances, threw him off his yacht. With Carlos mostly a hindrance, Sister Bertrille uses $100 bills for tinder, sets a signal fire and cooks fish. As each sets out to find fresh water, Sister Bertrille is petrified by a mud-covered creature emerging from a tide pool, who proves to be April Chance. Sister Bertrille knows she must keep her away from Carlos, especially when she learns the yacht sank. Carlos patches up the cornette but it's too limp to fly. He greases himself with sap for a swim to the next island, attracting clouds of flies. Sister Bertrille starches her cornette into flying condition with coconut milk. Then April and Carlos meet and epithets and missiles start flying. Sister Bertrille, mired in quicksand, refuses rescue unless they make up. She is almost under when they forgive each other and Carlos remembers insurance will cover the yacht. Putting Carlos on his honor, Sister Bertrille takes off for the convent. As he reaches for April, Sister Bertrille scolds him from the sky. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

During a convent picnic, Raffles, a dog, runs off with a purse. His master, the Gypsy, is hauled to jail. Raffles joins the picnic and coaxes shy little Jamie into the games. No pets are allowed at San Tanco, but Sister Bertrille lets Raffles follow them home. Mother Superior makes a temporary exception when she sees Raffles winning over Jamie. The dog, trained to fetch, retrieves a ball, and another purse. Jamie and Sister Bertrille can't reform Raffles. Sister Bertrille and Sister Jacqueline set out to return Raffles' big haul -- six purses. The car gets a flat tire and they panic at Officer Peralta's approach. Later, he can't explain the six purses in his squad car to his sergeant. Mother Superior decides Raffles must go to the pound if his owner doesn't respond to a "Lost Dog" ad. The Gypsy bids farewell to his cellmate, the Earl, and takes the paper with the ads. The Sisters spray purses with dog repellent, but Raffles lifts Monsignor Houk's wallet. Sister Bertrille prepares to take him to the pound, first flying up to return the Monsignor's wallet. The Gypsy finds the Sisters' ad, but Raffles is gone. Carmelita reports Jamie gone too. Sister Bertrille finds them and Raffles is reunited with his master. Later, Sister Bertrille reports the Gypsy has a good job and Raffles hasn't touched a purse or wallet in weeks. Then she finds a pile of hubcaps in the car. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

As a prize for the best students, Carlos Ramirez invites Bridgett Faulkner and Joel Bascomb to dinner. Bridgett, 15, aware of being homely, refuses and bucktoothed Joel, 13, follows her example, but Sister Bertrille persuades them to go. At the restaurant, Carlos teaches Bridgett to dance. When Bridgett compares herself to beautiful Candy Cain, Carlos tells her Candy was once an unhappy, skinny teenager. Bridgett, who came from Ireland with her fisherman father, tells Carlos he loved to dance. She pronounces the Irish blessing "...May the wind be always at your back..." Touched, Carlos kisses her hand. Infatuated, Bridgett tries to improve her looks with mudpacks and ironed hair. Worried when Bridgett neglects a paper needed for a scholarship, Joel reports to Sister Bertrille. She asks Carlos to explain things to Bridgett. Emulating Candy, Bridgett arrives to lunch with Carlos in high heels and mini skirt. When Candy appears, Bridgett feels Carlos only pitied her. Sister Bertrille discusses Bridgett's unhappiness with Mother Superior. Bridgett feels Joel betrayed her. Joel wants Bridgett to get the scholarship, hoping to join her later. He follows Sister Bertrille's suggestion and offers Bridgett a shell, telling her how he feels about her. Breaking in on Carlos' date with Candy, Sister Bertrille persuades him to give a party. Bridgett, suddenly mature, reaches an understanding with Carlos. Joel, enjoying his dance with Janet, Carlos' niece, closes his eyes and crashes into the drums. Later, as Bridgett leaves for college, everyone sends her off with the Irish blessing. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

Although Carlos Ramirez is on maneuvers with the Marine Corps Reserve, he doesn't change his style of living with steaks, champagne and pretty girls. The tough commanding officer, Captain Dolger, learns Ginger, the pretty redhead, slipped through security on Carlos' yacht and makes plans to court-martial him. Carlos finds that the Captain and Mother Superior are old friends and sends an SOS to Sr. Bertrille. Mother Superior reluctantly allows her to go to Carlos' aid. Her approach is tracked by radar and she is fired upon, but fortunately with blank ammunition. Somewhat shaken, Sr. Bertrille talks to Carlos but is discovered by the Captain. He can't believe she flew over and thinks she is working with Headquarters to test his outfit's security. Although Mother Superior confirms Sr. Bertrille's story, the Captain still thinks it's a plot and asks Sr. Bertrille to fly, but she can't, there is no wind. The opposing Aggressor's landing craft is sighted and the Captain hurries to action. Carlos insists Sr. Bertrille escape. She goes aloft, spots another Aggressor force approaching from another direction and alerts Carlos. The Captain doesn't believe Carlos but is convinced when he spots Sr. Bertrille soaring overhead. He deploys four units who capture the Aggressors. The maneuvers successfully concluded, the Captain is shattered to find one of Carlos' girl friends in an Aggressor uniform. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

The sisters of San Tanco learn the convent is heir to a legacy, then find all that's left is a contract on Mike Sevre, a fighter known as the Buffalo Buzzsaw. With no money and nowhere to go, Mike insists on staying at the convent. He moves into a gardener's cottage, and makes himself useful at odd jobs, entertaining the children and gourmet cooking. Although Carlos Ramirez tells Sister Bertrille that Mike won only three fights, she hopes the proceeds of just one fight will pay to rewire the convent. Sister Bertrille talks Carlos into becoming Mike's manager, and the children set up a training program to get him in shape. Sister Bertrille even flies a little to help. Sparring with Carlos, Mike at first refuses to hit him, but finally knocks him out with a one-two. Carlos schedules Mike against El Carnicero (the butcher). Mike overhears Mother Superior and Sister Bertrille's plans to sell his contract. Hurt, he disappears but Sister Bertrille flies out to find him. Mike declares he's always been traded around, and nobody considers his feelings. Sister Bertrille explains she wanted to find a manager who might build him up, even get him a shot at a title. Stunned when Mike reveals he hates to hurt his opponent, Sister Bertrille reminds him of his knockout punch, which Carlos didn't even feel. At the crucial moment of the fight, the wiring fails at the convent. Then they learn that Mike, closing his eyes, knocked out El Carnicero. Mike and Carlos donate their share to the convent, which gives Mike back his contract. Mike announces he's retiring from the ring to work as a chef for Carlos. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

Little Linda Shapiro visits her godfather, Carlos Ramirez. When Carlos is called away on urgent business, Sister Bertrille takes Linda to stay at the convent. Linda is shy with the children and Sister Bertrille takes her along as her assistant on her parish visits. They read to a blind man, repair children's toys, and help an overworked mother with her babies. Linda is impressed by all her friends and awed when Sister Bertrille flies up to return a baby bird to its nest. Carlos returns to find Linda in a makeshift nun's habit, set on being Sister Shapiro. Nobody can dissuade her and Carlos is frantic because Linda's parents are coming. To get Linda to change her mind, Sister Bertrille puts her on the nuns' assignment list, scrubbing floors and peeling onions. Linda determines never to leave the convent, except maybe for her brother's Bar Mitzvah. Even Linda's parents can't persuade her to leave. Then Sister Bertrille tells her it was just a game to make her happy. Thoroughly disillusioned, Linda prepares to go. To convince her she didn't always want to be a nun, Sister Bertrille shows movies of her life as a teenager. Linda decides she'll always want to help people, but will be herself first. At the airport, she leaves her surfboard for the children. Everyone stares as Sister Bertrille strides through, with the surfboard balanced on her head. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

Pedro Mendoza, an elderly grocer, asks Sister Bertrille to read a love letter from a Miami widow. Sister Bertrille urges him to learn to read, but is surprised when he comes to school. Mother Superior decrees that Pedro can't stay, because Bishop Pool won't allocate funds to teach adults. To convince the Bishop, Sister Bertrille promises to have Pedro reading in a month. Backward, but thrilled by his first word, Pedro resolves to read for the Bishop. Sister Bertrille has doubts because Pedro can't tell an F from a P, and is confused by words that sound the same but are spelled differently. Pedro is ready to give up until he hears a sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and borrows the book from Sister Bertrille. The Bishop is impressed until he finds that Pedro can't read but memorized the poem. To prove he did learn to write, Pedro unrolls a huge banner, "Welcome Bish. Pool." To prepare for the Bishop's next visit, Sister Bertrille takes turns with Sisters Sixto and Jacqueline teaching Pedro day and night. Worn out, Pedro thinks it's worth it, until he reads that the widow is getting married to another man. Although bitter that reading brought unhappiness, Pedro discovers the world of books, including the ones in his store. He finds that his partner, Juan, has been robbing him. Moved by Pedro's impassioned speech, the Bishop recommends funds for an adult school. Middle-aged Matilde, with an eye for Pedro, joins the children in school. Also available on Amazon Instant Video

Old Captain Otis Barnaby tells Sister Bertrille and her class exciting tales of his life at sea. Then staid Conrad Barnaby reveals his father never saw the ocean until six weeks before and gained all his sea lore from books. Sister Bertrille can't talk the Captain out of sailing a battered little boat 1000 miles to Miami. The children and the sisters help the Captain load up and he sets sail in the re-christened "Sister Bertrille." Later, they hear a howling storm on the classroom radio. The Captain reports his sails and supplies were washed overboard but he won't give up. Sister Bertrille, weighed down with supplies, flies out to rescue him. The Captain wakes up to find Sister Bertrille in the cabin and is sure she's a figment of his imagination. After a meal and a game of cards, Sister Bertrille flies back to the convent. The Captain repairs the radio and contacts San Tanco. When Conrad hears a nun visited his father at sea, he's sure the Captain has lost his mind and alerts the Coast Guard. To save the old man's pride, Sister Bertrille reveals she flew out and saw his father was all right. Conrad doesn't believe her until he sees Sister Bertrille hovering outside his window. Later, the Captain holds the children spellbound with his true adventure of the storm at sea. Also available on Amazon Instant Video