Jeers to America's Next Top Model for a Michael Jackson tribute that was hardly a thriller.
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With guest judge LaToya Jackson looking on, the models on the lackluster All-Stars season dressed up as Jacko in various stages of his career, and the result was, well, bad. Making matters worse, several of the Caucasian PYT's (who, in some cases, are not-so-Y) wore makeup that veered dangerously close to blackface.
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Though the lineup leaked months ago, on Thursday the CW confirmed the cast of the upcoming "all-star" cycle of America's Next Top Model (premiering Wednesday, Sept. 14 at 9/8c). Eight out of the 14 aspiring whatevers are 25 years old or older, which is hilarious since even at a decade younger they'd still be kind of old to be getting into modeling. But America's Next Top Model is not the real world or even the fashion world (which is also not the real world), and creator/host Tyra Banks recently told Good Morning America that this cycle will be about more than just modeling anyway. "I have the girls singing songs, doing music videos, creating perfumes. You can't just be a model anymore ... Now it's about celebrity-celebrity, so that's what I'm doing with my all-stars," she said.
Panic attack hits America's Next Top Model
Joining her in doing celebrity-celebrity with her all-stars will be the usual motley crew of guest judges. Hilariously...
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Almost everything Tyra Banks says is nonsense, but she really outdid herself on Thursday's episode of Good Morning America. Sitting down with Robin Roberts, Banks immediately started spouting off about her upcoming young-adult novel Modelland, which sounds exactly what you'd get if you crossed Harry Potter with America's Next Top Model. Within 30 seconds, she was using the made-up word "Intoxibellas" and describing the single, giant golden eyebrow she was wearing as a "smize" (which is Banks' made-up portmanteau that means "smiling with your eyes"). Maybe a smize is what you use to smize in Modelland? It's one of those noun-verbs (like "iron" or "Swiffer"). At least Banks' nonsense is versatile...
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The most illuminating part of HBO's original movie Cinema Verite (airing Saturday at 9/8c) comes at its very end. We get to see a clip of the real Loud family, whose participation on the first modern reality show, 1973's An American Family, is central to the film. Verite transitions from the fictional portrayal of the Louds to footage from their actual appearance on The Dick Cavett Show, which was part of their self-orchestrated, damage-control tour following the mass criticism they received from viewers as a result of the show. During the segment, they voice their disdain for having their lives edited and their personalities categorized to suit plotlines. In response, Cavett snorts, "Anybody who's in show business would have to call you naïve to think that you could think that you could appear on television and not have it selected, edited..."
If anyone had a right to complain about editing, surely it was this family of guinea pigs. What's amazing about this is that some 38 years later, we're still having this conversation as a culture...
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A confrontation on Wednesday night's episode of America's Next Top Model sent one hopeful into what she characterized as a "panic attack." All cycle, nerves have been frazzling (two of the contestants separately used the word "breakdown" to describe their emotional state on last week's episode), but we hadn't seen anything like this before...
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