Traci Lords by Paul Hawthorne/WireImage.com
Traci Lords will help Zack & Miri Make a Porno, says the Reporter. Also joining Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks and Jason Mewes in the Kevin Smith comedy are Craig Robinson (The Office) and Ricky Mabe (Beautiful People).... Juno's Ellen Page next will play a teen from a small Texas town who forsakes the beauty-pageant circuit to become a roller-derby queen in Whip It!, Drew Barrymore's directorial debut.... Also per Variety, Forest Whitaker is in talks to front Patriots, a real-life-inspired drama about Al Collins, the hoops coach who led John Ehret High School's hoops team to the Louisiana state championship a year after Katrina displaced scores of students.... Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay will bow at the South by Southwest Film Festival, taking place March 7-15 in Austin, Texas.
Here I was, fresh from penning the 30 Rock recap, prepared to shrug at the relative humor of Andy Barker, P.I. I mean, 30 Rock is 30 Rock but our stalwart accountant/private investigator combination served up a pretty good time. I've decided that the cartoony, ready-to-be-solved-in-22-minutes mysteries are akin to Police Squad!, with broadly drawn broads and gummy-bear goons. I loved Drebin & Co., so that's a favorable comparison.It's interesting that this week's guest star, Traci Lords, hailing from an early (porn) career known for bad acting, is... wow, she's a bad actress. But perfect for this week's purposes, as Geneva Marseilles (CC had "Marsay," but I have to think they were going for the history-rich one-two) wasn't Oscar-caliber either.The bullets: This week's dollop of man-wife tenderness: Jenny tilting her heel as she pecks Andy. Andy's bean-counter humor: "They don't call it Quicken because it slows your pulse." "You bit me! What are...