11:18 — When Hurlan discovers that his calling is to be a doctor, his sister, Hurshe, takes advantage of his crotch generosity.
10:32 — Axe Cop goes on a Night Mission to find Bat Warthog Man’s missing friends.
11:18 — Death plays doorbell ditch in Doc's crotch. Hurshe answers the ding dong.
11:18 — Hurlan's tangled heart gets tied up in more twists than a bag of pretzel sticks when he hears the international grunt of love.
11:18 — The only thing more brainless than a dumb guy is a dumb guy with a brain.
10:27 — Axe Cop has killed all the bad guys on earth, meaning only one thing: he and his team of crime fighters need to find new jobs.
10:18 — Axe Cop is forced to let a girl join the team even though he has put all girls on the dumb list.
11:14 — When a non-meddling non-reporter doesn't stick his nose where it doesn't belong, the holler goes on HIGH ALERT!
11:18 — Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all, in order to destroy the entirety of civilization.
11:18 — Good things only come to those who crawl desperately into living cadavers.
10:12 — Young Axey and Flutey grow up to run a taxi company, just falling short of their childhood dreams of becoming crime fighters.
11:18 — When Boss Hoss Heartshe dies, who will inherit the town? The answer is a secret you can never know! (Answer: his secret son.)
10:33 — Flute Cop goes on vacation, leaving Axe Cop and Sockarang to babysit Uni-Baby.
10:23 — It’s Thanksgiving and Axe Cop hasn’t been seen since Halloween. How will his team celebrate Thanksgiving without him?
10:24 — Axe Cop is forced into hiding by the sinister Hell Chicken, while the world falls ruin to the Hell Chicken Zombie Apocalypse.
10:29 — Axe Cop tries to teach his new foster son how to be the ultimate foster son.
11:19 — After many lonely years, Hurlan finally gets to feel the cold touch of a mommy.
11:18 — Destiny spelled sdrawkcab is Mee Maw.
10:54 — The whole of Heartshe gets bitten in the dog by the hot wolf of American sexceptionalism.
11:18 — One billion gods working inside three thrillion universes couldn't possibly create a reality this stupid.
11:13 — The history of America is a narrative concerning the triumph of white supremacy.
11:15 — When little ol' love finally learns to talk, it chooses instead to yowl until its throat fills with brown.
11:17 — For once, the tail manages to catch its snake and gobbles it down with a side of bibleberries.
- Birth Name: Patton Peter Oswalts
- Birth Place: Portsmouth, Virginia, United States
- Birthday: January 27, 1969, Aquarius
- Profession: Actor, Producer, Writer, Comedian