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Posted: 10/7/2011
Well, would you look. at. the. time. It s October, which means that Christmas Day is right around the corner! No better time to already start cranking out the Christmas tunes than the beginning of fall, right? Right.
Now if you re like us, you re a Jewish person that loooooves Christmas music, so we say the sooner the better. And perhaps no Christmas album in history has made more of an impact on modern humanity than Mariah Carey s 1994 masterpiece Merry Christmas. I plan on blasting her version of Oh Holy Night during my hopefully dozens of water births before the ol eggs conk out.
So you would THINK I would be over the moon that Ms. Carey is releasing an entirely new Christmas album Merry Christmas II brings us yet more classics that will surely be amplified at some of the gayest Christmas parties across the country.
And yet there is just so much happening on the album. Just so many notes, and screams, and chords, and runs. This clip of Little Drummer Boy starts out pretty enough. Until someone lights the piece of dynamite stuck God know s where and Mariah bursts into an epileptic frenzy of musical notes. IT DOESN T EVEN MAKE SENSE:
If I have to walk into a Macy s and hear this streaming over the loud speakers, they re going to find me rocking back and forth in the dressing room like Newt in Aliens. Mariah, seriously, Christmas is great, but take it down a crotch or two.