Mazel tov! I've been to my share of crappy b'nei mitzvot (there was a time, just over a decade ago, when I could have filled my entire closet with shirts that said, "I Had a Blast at [X]'s Bar Mitzvah!"), but even I am not sure where on the awkward scale that party fell. Between Larry's vigorous defense — which started out with "There's a guest here spreading a vicious, nasty, scurrilous rumor about me and a gerbil," and unfortunately ended with "I do have a tickle in my anus…" — his admission to wearing "No Fly Zone" underwear, and apparently ending up with Loretta (if it wasn't just a St. Elsewhere dream), well, it might just belong on a scale all its own.Oh, Larry. Where do we even start? It seems pretty clear that he wasn't crushed by the loss of Cheryl, per se, it was more just that he was worried he'd never find someone else willing to put up with him. His flirting technique indicated that he was right to worry ("Let me ask you a question: Did you ever go out wi...
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Let’s get this recap going before I forget what happened. Now, there’s misanthropy and there’s being a flat-out bad person, and tonight, LD seriously towed that line. Between faking Alzheimer's and getting his therapist thrown in jail, I’m not sure where this so-called new Larry David is. If there’s anything different about him, it’s the fact that he’s now ruining people’s lives on purpose as opposed to just incidentally.OK, Doctor Bright (Steve Coogan) was probably the world’s worst therapist, considering he told Larry to give Cheryl an ultimatum on moving back in with him ("You have until Monday"). And sure, he might be ridiculously stupid, because he went along with Larry’s fake mugging plan, that even Loretta and Auntie Rae wanted to put a stop to. But did he really deserve to go to jail? He obviously hadn’t spent enough time counseling Larry, or he would have known that his client wouldn’t be helping him get out of his...
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I never knew being bald was such a burden. Look at our good friend Jeff: With a full head of hair, he's getting extra food and high-profile clients. As a baldie, well, he's just a fatter version of Larry, though, it must be said, without years of bitterness about his condition. Fortunately for him, his hair will, as he pointed out after cursing Larry, grow back. Larry's bald forever.Larry's not just bald, though. Larry's bald and single. And the single part is what prompted one-half of tonight's debacle (though the baldness didn't help). Why did Auntie Rae have to hug for longer than five minutes? He never would have mentioned his groin problems to Doctor Flomm (played by braless wonder Sue Ellen Mischke's alter ego, Brenda Strong), he wouldn't have been "massaging" himself in the car. With but one strike to go against the Blacks, he just had to be caught saying the N word. One can only thank god that Jeff's doctor shaved his head instead of fixing his snoring problem ("that motherf...
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I think Larry David spies on me. Until this week I could have chalked everything up to coincidence (the smoke alarm, "shmo-hawk" and disturbing car rides), but when he devoted every other scene in this episode to a toaster that doesn't actually toast anything, well, I had to wonder where he keeps the surveillance camera. The idea that it could take 15 minutes to toast some bread (and still have it be bread and not toast) hits incredibly close to home, and as funny as it is, I'm starting to get creeped out. On the other hand, maybe these are just the universal truths of the human condition that Shakespeare never got around to examining.So what kind of mayhem did this so-called toaster cause? Well, in the rush to get out of the house, Larry and Leon accidentally switched up their identical cell phones, and Loretta missed her job interview. But the misfortune didn't end there (does it ever?); Larry rejected Leon's job offer, thinking it was a telemarketer, and Leon insulted the already...
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Folks, I attempt to make this a family-friendly blog, so I'm not going to quote any of Leon's advice to Larry about how to best deal with the skinhead (advice that included spray-painting and eating Snickers bars inside of said skinhead's southern orifice), but I will say that the whole thing had me laughing so hard, I was afraid I might hurt myself. Luckily I'm OK, because I certainly didn't want to end up in the doctor's office where I'd be quizzed on my bathroom habits. I do have to agree with Larry, Loretta, Leon and Aunt Rae, though, that anything less than two-ply is wholly unsuited for human use and is at the same level as the Port Authority.Compared to last week's episode, in which everything tied together so tidily at the end, tonight's episode wasn't quite as neat. It was more like just variations on a theme: Larry goes to the bathroom more than "normal," Cha Cha monitors these habits because she works across from the bathroom, Cheryl forces everyone to use recycled toilet...
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