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Posted: 10/7/2011
I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap * and I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress are two things that you would usually reserve to say to a convicted child-molesting bus driver in private, right? Not so, according to a Wisconsin judge who fashions himself a very forward-thinking, potty-mouthed version of Judge Judy.
Weirder yet, he speaks graphically about the defendant s d**k when referring to the homophobia of yesteryear, the kind of societal shunning that might cause an ashamed, closeted gay guy to allegedly go after kids which, for the record, is not how that works, because exclusively linking pedophilia with gay men is unfounded and archaic.
Nevertheless, it is his courtroom, and if he s going to trot out the best one-liners this side of an Elayne Boosler HBO special, we can t stop him.
*How does he know?
[via Videogum]
- Eliot Glazer