Knock knock. Who's there? Chelsea. Chelsea who?
No, make that Chelsea why? The answer to the question posed in NBC's squalid new sitcom Are You There, Chelsea? (8:30/7:30c) is "not really." Based on late-night spitfire Chelsea Handler's potty-mouthed party-girl memoirs — but dropping the Vodka from the title because that might be, you know, offensive — this smutty but toothless misfire puzzlingly reduces Handler to a supporting role: that of a mousy, whiny born-again sister to the fictional Chelsea, played by That '70s Show's Laura Prepon with a one-note husky-voiced crassness that grows stale long before the first scene (in a women's jail cell) ends with Glee's Dot Marie Jones leering at Chelsea. Which is maybe the only sexual advance Chelsea spurns. As long as she can be on top. Which she mentions a lot.
Whoopi Goldberg will guest-star on an upcoming episode of ABC's The Middle, the show's executive producer announced Wednesday at the winter TV previews.
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Goldberg will appear on the 21st episode as the guidance counselor of Sue (Eden Shur), executive producer Eileen Heisler said during a panel that also featured the showrunners of ABC's other Wednesday night comedies, Suburgatory, Modern Family and Happy Endings.
Also coming soon to visit the Heck family...
Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton
Turns out, not everybody loves Raymond. Or at least The Middle's Frankie Heck (Patricia Heaton) doesn't.
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And viewers will learn why on the one-hour season premiere of the ABC comedy, which reunites Heaton with her Everybody Loves Raymond husband Ray Romano.
"We hadn't gone to him before," co-creator and executive producer DeAnn Heline tells TVGuide.com. "As a new show, you want to give it time to develop. Plus he was busy with his show — he's a busy guy. But, now, all the stars aligned."
Romano appears via flashbacks that are brought on by a Heck Family camping trip. As Frankie and Mike (Neil Flynn) take the kids into the woods, the couple reflects on the last time they went camping — on their honeymoon.
"Ray plays a friend of Mike's who happens to stumble upon them during their honeymoon and causes problems," Heline says...
Even when the cast of The Middle is away from the set, they can't stop acting like a family. Patricia Heaton (Frankie Heck) gabs with her TV daughter, Eden Sher (Sue), about shopping. Neil Flynn (Mike) bonds with TV sons Charlie McDermott (Axl) and Atticus Shaffer (Brick) over who's the best shot during their on-set basketball games. We sat the close-knit crew down to swap stories about everything from the first time they met to their favorite Mexican veggie.
As overlooked middle child Sue Heck on ABC's The Middle, 18-year-old Eden Sher has caught our attention, making us want to learn more about the girl behind the braces.
She used to have stage fright. "I was really shy when I was little and there was this mandatory school performance in first grade. I refused to go on, but my mom forced me and it was like, 'Click, love it!' Once I realized that I didn't die on stage, it was really great."
They shoot pot dealers, don't they? That question lingers as Season 2 of Showtime's Weeds drew to a close with a helpless, hempless Nancy staring down the barrels of not one or two but five serious pieces of firepower... never once setting down that prominently displayed can of Diet Coke. Her only possible salvation: Silas, now in possession of the final MILF weed harvest, but himself also in dire straits, with Celia and a policeman marching toward the 38-pound stash. And let's not forget poor Shane, who graduated from grade school straight into an impetuous, Cactus Cooler-fueled trip to Paraguay, with Kat (as in Krazy) behind the wheel, and Uncle Andy and Abumchuck in heated pursuit.And to think that the Weeds writers almost tied everything up in a neat bundle instead! So glad they opted otherwise, (as explained in my fresh Features Q&A with series creator Jenji Kohan).Was I entirely satisfied with the season-ending cliff-hanger? No, not entirely. I think it was a cheat to kill...
Sons & Daughters' Alison Quinn, Jerry Lambert, Trevor Einhorn and Dee Wallace
Tonight's episodes of Sons & Daughters [starting at 9 pm/ET on ABC] will tease, titillate, and traumatize you.
First up is "House Party," written by Jordana Arkin and directed by Bob Berlinger. Prepare yourself for some outrageous behavior when Don and Sharon (Alison Quinn) decide to get away from it all by spicing up their love life at a motel. When the cat's away the mice will play, and Jeff takes full advantage of the missing-parent situation to throw himself a little house party that turns big in a hurry. Christine Lakin is back as Sydney, Jeff's attractive yoga-loving girlfriend. Concerned, Carrie (Eden Sher, who gets her braces off this summer) calls her Uncle Cameron (Fred Goss
Allison Quinn, Sons & Daughters
Well, this blog has taken my celebrity to new heights. I simply didn't anticipate the extraordinary interest millions of readers would take in the random thoughts of me, a modest journeyman-actor-turned-huge-ABC-television-star. It hasn't given me a big head or made me treat people any differently than I did before. Just ask my assistants, Felicia and Maggie, my personal shopper Yvette, or Charles, the English butler who helps me put on my trousers one leg at a time in the morning — I really haven't changed at all. I still try to lead a selfless and simple life. I even hired a Tibetan to read quotes from the Dalai Lama aloud to me as I'm choosing which Hugo Boss suit to wear that day. Me, a simple, hardworking fellow from beautiful Montesano, Washington. Me, who leads a spiritual life and thinks only of his fellow man, even when I'm sailing in the Bahamas, playing blackjack for a thousand dollars a hand in Las Vegas, or waking up with Eva Longoria.
Dee Wallace and Max Gail, Sons & Daughters
Tonight's episodes of Sons & Daughters (beginning at 9 pm/ET on ABC) are titled "Family Finance" and "Karaoke." What is it about money that brings out the worst in human behavior? My good friend William Shakespeare used to always tell me, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." Of course, later, when he came crawling to me straight from the pub for a loan, I would throw that quote right back in his face using a phony-sounding British accent. He could write a heck of a play, but he was terrible with money. Anyway, I digress. The first episode, "Family Finance," is one of my favorites. It was written by one of our shining stars in the writers' room, Justin Adler, and directed by David Steinber
Jerry Lambert, Greg Pitts and Fred Goss, Sons & Daughters
I play Don Fenton on ABC's new comedy Sons & Daughters [premiering Tuesday, March 7, at 9 pm/ET]. Hopefully this blog will be even more exciting, dynamic and handsome than Don Fenton is, if that's possible. Frankly, I've never heard of a blog being described as "handsome," but that's all changed now: We've entered a new era of blogging. This handsome and charismatic blog might just change the way you look at yourselves, and at television. If I can make a difference in one person's life... just one person's... well, it won't be enough. Now, about Sons and Daughters. The central figure of the show is Cameron Walker, played by Fred Goss. I play his brother-in-law. Fred is also one of the ex