David Cook by Frank Micelotta/Fox
Midway through George Takei's cheerful yet depressing mauling of a country-music classic last night, I wondered if this is what it would be like to drop acid in Branson, while I was also wondering what a world would be like if so-called stars would be so kind as to keep their hidden talents hidden.No such luck. Look what Dancing with the Stars hath wrought: CBS' cheesy circus of marginal celeb-reality: Secret Talents of the Stars, which premiered Tuesday night as a flat nightcap to a long night of unimpressive reality-show competition. (For Cheers & Jeers' take on this debacle, go here.) Is it wrong of me to think the only truly genuine performance I saw Tuesday night was that adorable 8-year-old couple doing the paso doble as part of the Dancing results-show filler?Im with Clint Black, who in his affable but instantly forgettable Secret Talents stand-up routine quipped, You what I cant stand? These TV shows where people compete and America votes. You know what...
CBS has announced a new reality series called Secret Talents of the Stars, which debuts April 8. And let me tell you, it's kind of a circus. Remember that show Circus of the Stars? (Balki on the trapeze? Sure, we've got that!) Well, it's like that, except with music and dancing and just about everything else, too. In fact, some of the acts are so random that they sound made up. In that spirit, here's a list of some of the participants and their talents. But can you spot the fake? Post your guess in the comments below. Mickey O'Connor1) Country crooner Clint Black will perform stand-up comedy.2) Star Trek vet George Takei will sing country music.3) Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen will perform acrobatics with the Shanghai Circus.4) Wrestler Ric Flair will dance the salsa.5) Boxing champ Joe Frazier will sing R&B.6) Danny Bonaduce will ride the unicycle with the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.7) Foulmouthed comedian Andrew Dice Clay will perform feats of ...
Hal Sparks, Wayne Brady, Lucy Lawless and Carly Patterson, Celebrity Duets
You've seen them dance. You've seen them lose weight. You've even seen them ice-skate. Now it's time for celebrities to grab a mike and start singing. The contestants on Fox's Celebrity Duets will have a little help from well-known recording artists such as Clint Black, Macy Gray and Chaka Khan, so we're hoping the audience will be spared the torture of another William Hung. But with Simon Cowell wearing the executive-producer hat, anything is possible.
The show (premiering Aug. 29) is hosted by Wayne Brady and features eight celebrity "nonsingers" — wrestling champion Chris Jericho, actress Lea Thompson, Queer Eye lifestyle expert Jai Rodriguez, Xena's Lucy Lawless, actor Cheech Marin, Olympian gymnast Carly Patterson, Fresh Prince's Alfonso Ribeiro and comedian Hal Sparks. The warbling wannabes will be competing for $100,000, to be donated to the
Little Richard is a big get for Simon's Celebrity Duets.
As reported earlier this week, Lucy Lawless, Cheech Marin, WWE champ Chris Jericho, Olympian Carly Patterson, Fresh Prince's Alfonso Ribeiro, Queer Eye's Jai Rodriguez, Hal Sparks and Back to the Future's