Chuck Allen

A plague sweeps across a civilization already ruined by anarchy, genocide and starvation, a small group of surviving scientists and doctors located in Atlanta, Georgia work on a cure to save what s left of humanity. To complete their work they need information stored on a computer system in New York City. Pearl Prophet (Dayle Haddon) volunteers for the dangerous courier mission and she is made into a cyborg through surgical augmentation. Pearl, accompanied by bodyguard Marshall Strat, retrieves the data in New York, but is pursued by the vicious Fender Tremolo (Vincent Klyn) and his gang of pirates . Fender wants the cure so he can have a monopoly on its production. Strat, badly injured in a skirmish with the pirates, tells Pearl to leave him and get to the Bronx to look for a slinger that can escort her to safety. She finds Gibson Rickenbacker (Van Damme), a slinger, or mercenary, who provides protection against the pirates. No sooner does she explain her situation than they are overrun by Fender s gang and Gibson is knocked out by falling debris. Fender, having beheaded Strat, dangles his head in front of Pearl and tells her that he's going with her to Atlanta. There, she must bring him the cure or else she will get the horror show. Fender's gang slaughter a family and steals their boat. They head south for Atlanta via the Intracoastal Waterway with the captive Pearl. Gibson, now tracking the pirates, arrives at the scene of slaughter later that night. A shadowy figure moves to attack him, but he launches a throwing knife that takes the attacker down. She turns out to be Nady Simmons (Deborah Richter), a young woman who d been hiding since the pirate attack and thought Gibson was one of their gang. After they had time to recover, Nady reveals that her family was wiped out by the plague and that she wants to help Gibson and Pearl. Gibson, meanwhile, is less concerned with a cure for the plague than with finding Fender and eliminating him. He tri

Imagine a movie written by three of the greatest comedy Gods currently still alive. Now, remove Woody Allen and Larry the Cable Guy from your dream team, and replace them with 2 other Gods. Good. The movie you re envisioning is probably so amazing, so unbelievable, that you dare not even get all riled up about its explosive and infinite comic potential. Which is probably a good thing. Because, in fact, three living comedy Gods have banded together to create a film. Robert Smigel (long-time Conan writer, creator of the best show that ever existed, TV Funhouse), Adam Sandler (think he wrote a song about Hanukkah once), and Judd Apatow (Ed. Note: too lazy to type credits at this point). These three deities have, in fact, written a movie together, and one with a plot that is right up our alley. It s called You Don t Mess with the Zohan, and the plot focuses on an Israeli Mossad agent (Sandler) who decides he would rather cut and style hair, and moves to New York to make this dream a well-coiffed reality. Simple, hilarious, perfect. Well the trailer is finally here. And it deflates most of my inner being to say that, save for the first 30 seconds it doesn t seem great. Sandler s Israeli accent is horrendous. Which is surprising, since his Israeli performance in my favorite SNL sketch of all-time the Smigel-written Sabra Price Is Right was on point! (He was no Eric Bana in Munich, but hey, is anyone?) The accent heard in the trailer below is unplaceable, a sort of Frankenstein of past Sandler accents that doesn t gel here nor there. I still am holding a tiny menorah candle in the hopes that this movie will indeed meet my expectations, that maybe, just maybe, the trailer is average in an attempt to lure non-comedy nerds into the theater. The trailer has its moments, but overall looks like Standard Sandler Fare. Could this be because director Dennis Dugan is also responsible for directing I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Beverly Hill Ninja and Shas

Gibson Rickenbacker is a hired fighter living in a plague-ravaged apocalyptic America where a plague has infested most of the United States and the rest of the world. In New York City, Gibson encounters a woman named Pearl Prophet. Pearl reveals to Gibson that she is a cyborg who is carrying vital-information for a group of scientists in Atlanta who are working on a cure to the plague and Pearl hires Gibson to escort her back to Atlanta. But Pearl is kidnapped by 'Pirates' a murderous gang led by Fender Tremolo, who wants the cure for themselves and they decide to take Pearl to Atlanta themselves. Gibson, joined by a young woman named Nady Simmons, goes in pursuit of Fender and his gang, as Gibson sets out to rescue Pearl, stop Fender and his gang from reaching Atlanta and defeat Fender who slaughtered Gibson's family.