Britney Spears

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AND GUESS WHAT? IT DOES VERY LITTLE, TOO

Britney Spears' aspiring rap star of a hubby has unveiled his own website, KevinFederline.com — a somewhat odd choice, seeing as ImNotYourBabyDaddy.com is available. In a note posted to the site's visitors, KFed promises to provide "the opportunity to get to know who I really am," and then watch as he asks you to lend him money. read more

SPEARS SUES OVER SEX-VID STORY

Britney Spears

Britney Spears has filed a $20 million libel suit against US Weekly, charging that a story published about her and hubby, Kevin Federline, fretting over the possible leak of a homemade sex video is patently false. "There is no such video," declares the lawsuit, which seeks $10 million in libel damages, another $10 million for misappropriating Spears' name and image to promote sales, and other unspecified punitive damages. "Not that my punitive has ever been damaged, heh-heh," K-Fed says with a wink. And then a burp. read more

IS BRIT "FED" UP?

The New York Daily News is reporting that Britney Spears threw slacker hubby Kevin Federline to the curb — and by "curb," I mean the Beverly Hills Hotel — on Wednesday night, at the culmination of a "blazing row" between the new parents. Perhaps breaking the camel's back was K-Fed's alleged nixing of his wife's plan to take over for Christina Applegate in Broadway's Sweet Charity. Spears' reps had no comment on the story. read more

BRITNEY, A CHARITY CASE?

Britney Spears, apparently already anxious to get away from li'l Sean Preston's wailing, is in talks to succeed Christina Applegate as the star of Broadway's Sweet Charity, the New York Post reports. The pop tart's hubby, Kevin Federline, is said to be against the idea — that is, until he sees the price for the new Xbox 360 deluxe bundle and glances at his empty nylon-and-Velcro wallet. Then he'll decide he's alllll for it. read more

Today's column was written by Matt Webb Mitovich.

MIX MOMMA

Britney Spears

Britney Spears is quietly releasing a new album, B in the Mix: The Remixes, in two weeks, MTV.com reports. The disc features singles rejiggered by such DJs as Stuart Price and Peter Rauhofer as well as one new track entitled "And Then We Kiss," which I can only hope is not the first in a series chronologically recounting the conception of her and K-Fed's baby boy. read more

"THAT'S HER BA-A-BY, YEAH"

Justin Timberlake is siding against the website that posted allegedly stolen photos of his former flame, Britney Spears, with her new baby. (Oh, Spears' husband, Kevin Federline, was in them, too.) "That's crossing the line," Timberlake told Access Hollywood on Monday. "That's her baby and those are her baby pictures." And in that instant, Justin found the hook for his next single. read more

OOPS!

Britney Spears is threatening legal action against anyone who publishes pics of her newborn son, photos which she claims were stolen from a private photo shoot. The images first surfaced on the Web late Friday, but were quickly removed after Brit's publicist released a terse statement saying, "Anyone who publishes... these images in any way will be subject to liability and damages for willful infringement of copyright." Translation: If anyone's gonna exploit the little tot, it's gonna be Mom! read more

PRICED TO MOVE

Not content to give the needy the shirt off her back, Britney Spears is offering up the bra off her chest — and not just for recreational purposes, either. The Louisiana native is donating her intimate apparel, a tank top, a teddy bear and more to eBay to be auctioned off for hurricane relief. That's so sweet, I won't even speculate about why she didn't bother to donate that scuzzy hubby of hers. read more

NEW-MOM BRIT IS "ECSTATIC"

In a message posted to fans on her official website, Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline report that they are "ecstatic" about the Wednesday arrival of their first child together, a boy rumored to be named Preston Michael Spears Federline. "Everyone is happy, healthy and doing wonderful," the couple gushes. The reality of spit-up and waking up a dozen times during the night will set in in 5... 4... 3... 2.... read more

Today's column was written by Matt Webb Mitovich.

POPPED STAR

Britney Spears

Britney Spears gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday afternoon, according to an US Weekly report. The first-time mom, perhaps fearing the pain of natural childbirth to a fedora-wearing newborn, had the child — named Preston Michael Spears Federline, by some accounts — via Caesarean section. Hubby Kevin Federline, who already has two kids from a previous relationship, was at Spears' side during delivery, although unreliable sources say he was heard asking security guards where the nearest exits were. (Ouch. Now that's a rough delivery, folks.) read more

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