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Question: Why are you finding ...

Question: Why are you finding it so hard to answer my question? Maybe you don't find it entertaining enough for your column. Well, maybe you will find this e-mail more interesting. I mean, how much time does it take to answer a simple question like what the hell happened to Veronica's Closet? Please try to be a little more helpful in the future!!!!!!!!!! Thank you. — TooKrazee2

Televisionary: It's been cancelled!!!!!!!!!!

Happy?

You're welcome.

Now quit cursing, ya Krazee.

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Question: How can I purchase ...

Question: How can I purchase the soundtrack to NBC's The '70s miniseries? I would very much like to buy it!!! Thanks. ? Gina

Televisionary: Alright, Gina. Normally I'd consider it well beneath this site to shill directly for NBC (unless, of course, they pay handsomely).

But just between you, me and my loyal legions of readers (and those who click around just to send me hate mail), you can buy The '70s soundtrack along with several types of T-shirts on NBC's site.

(A side note to the network suits: Take care of me come the holidays, know what I mean? Don't worry about appearing above-board ? this is special text that only you can see.)

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Question: What is the name of ...

Question: What is the name of the title song for the WB series Charmed, and who performs it?

Televisionary: That's a version of The Smiths' "How Soon Is Now?" performed by Love Spit Love. You can get a longer version of it on the soundtrack from that other pretty-witch property, The Craft.

Normally I'd go on a rant about how much better the original song is (and it is better), especially since I usually hate remakes that add little or nothing to the real thing. However, I cut Love Spit Love front man Richard Butler some slack due to his '80s Psychedelic Furs pedigree.

Try as I might to be a purist, I have to admit I don't mind the Charmed take. But there's no question it lacks the righteous angst and misery of the Morrissey delivery.

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Question: Can you tell me ...

Question: Can you tell me when the original miniseries Rich Man, Poor Man aired on TV? Was it in 1976 and on consecutive nights? If so, what were the dates the episodes were on? Thank you.

Televisionary: ABC's 12-hour landmark miniseries Rich Man, Poor Man, based on the 1970 epic Irwin Shaw tome of the same title, ran Mondays from Feb. 1 to March 15, 1976. And looking back, it's rather strange that it's not widely remembered as the milestone that it was.

The production, which told the tale of brothers Rudy and Tom Jordache (Peter Strauss and a much less craggy Nick Nolte) was one of the first miniseries to hit U.S. airwaves. With its blockbuster ratings (second-highest of the season), its critical raves and 20 Emmy nominations, it pretty much established the form ? then lost its place in the cultural memory as Roots came along and usurped it in most American minds as the first miniseries.

That's a shame, really, since read more

Question: Your recent answer ...

Question: Your recent answer about China Beach's beautiful Dana Delany reminded me that the last time I saw her was (sans clothes) in East of Eden. What happened to her since then? Did the nude scene hurt her career? Thanks.

Televisionary: Assuming you mean Exit to Eden (similar titles make the mix-up an easy one, though it's the first time I realized it's easy to confuse works by John Steinbeck and Anne Rice), I'd argue that nudity had nothing to do with her career.

More likely if any harm was done ? and it's tough to say since Delany's had steady, albeit sub-A (no pun intended), work since that picture ? it was due to Eden's box-office fizzle rather than too much flesh on her part. I don't know whose idea it was to take a Rice throwaway mainstream, but the concept is so awful in principle it seems unfair to blame the lousy performance on Delany alone. After all, it also st read more

Question: What was the show ...

Question: What was the show called that aired in the late '80s and the early '90s and featured a foreigner named Balki and his American friend? They lived in the same apartment and I think the name had "Brothers" in it.

Televisionary: That would be the mediocre-at-best Perfect Strangers, which ran on ABC from March of 1986 to August of '93. I'd call it a comedy, but that wouldn't be fair to shows that actually make one laugh.

The show revolved around two completely different cousins trying to carve out a happy life for themselves in Chicago despite the fact that they were, well, just completely different. The odd-couple roomates (say, that's never been done!) were Larry (Mark Linn-Baker), the uptight one, and Balki (Bronson Pinchot), the funny-talking shepherd guy from a tiny country whose literal interpretations of American customs and sayings often provided comic perspective on society's habits and standards (say, that's never been done!).

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Question: In an older Jimmy ...

Question: In an older Jimmy Buffett song there is a line that goes something like, "Gardner McKay, take us on the leaky Tiki with you." I believe this comes from a television program in the 1950s. Can you help? — Taylor E. Mack

Televisionary: Sure thing, Taylor. But just for the uninitiated, the song to which you refer is "We Are the People Our Parents Warned Us About" and it's from Buffett's 1983 album, One Particular Harbor.

The Parrot Head king refers to ABC's Adventures in Paradise, which ran from 1959-62 and starred actor McKay as the rugged Adam Troy, captain of the South Pacific-wandering vessel Tiki.

The series's tropical settings (the Fox backlot, mostly) and exotic young women are a perfect fit for the Buffett oeuvre, but were less of a match made in heaven for author James Michener (Tales of the South Pacific, Hawaii and too many other works to mention), who created the series but reportedl read more

Question: Question: What was ...

Question: Question: What was the name of the show that had Andy Devine on it reading stories? There was a mischievous frog on it who caused Andy grief.

Televisionary: You're not kidding. Can you believe poor Andy had to appear on a children's show and say, "Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!" without losing it?

Now, allow me a moment to continue the Buffett riff (perhaps even beating it into the turf) and point out that the singer references Devine in "Pencil Thin Mustache."

Moving on, the show you seek is Andy's Gang, a version of a New York kids' confection that ran from 1955-60 and had national exposure on NBC during the '57-58 season. Originally a radio property called Smilin' Ed McConnell and His Buster Brown Gang (yes, smudging the line between children's content and ads predates The Transformers), the show first moved to TV with the smilin' Mr. McConnell as host.

Devine took over in '55 after McConnell died, leading a cast of char read more

Question: I was reading an ...

Question: I was reading an article on influential TV shows of the '90s and think I remember reading that David Duchovny played a transvestite on Twin Peaks (my fave show). I've been watching the reruns and I haven't spotted him. Was it another actor, or on another series, or what? Please help. — Melinda Green

Televisionary: 'Twas indeed Mr. Duchovny, Melinda. He played cross-dressing DEA agent Dennis/Denise Bryson during the show's second season.

The actor recently told Chicago that his flirtation with getting dolled up was a "disappointment" because he'd hoped to look prettier. "My legs were OK," he said. "I would have been one of those girls that just worked their one good asset."

And I join you in your "fave show" fandom. In its first season, Twin Peaks was often nothing short of brilliant.

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Angelina Jolie Disappoints Her Dad


Jon Voight says he's not happy about the new "Billy Bob" tattoo etched onto the bicep of his daughter, wacky actress Angelina Jolie.

Voight tells TV Guide Online he's concerned that his daughter's growing tattoo collection might limit her ability to take on various acting roles. So far, however, the veteran actor has had no luck keeping the Girl, Interrupted star out of the tattoo parlor.

"I'm not crazy about anybody having tattoos," says Voight. "She somehow sort of sneaked into getting them. I've always said to her, 'Ang, what are you doing? You want to be able to play anybody. If you're covered with tattoos, that makes it harder.' She says, 'Dad, they'll just cover them up with makeup.' But I know that can be harder than it looks."

Voight doesn't have much to say about Jolie's apparent blossoming read more

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