Question: I voted for you on the PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrity poll (like I do every year). Does that earn me some scoop on Moonlight? I heard that the CW might do something with it. What are the odds it will actually happen?
Answer: Thanks Marie for reminding everyone that my annual campaign to win PETA's SV honors has begun anew! As you'll recall, Kevin Eubanks edged me out at the 11th hour last year due to Jay Leno's shameless Tonight Show stumping. Help me avoid a repeat of that embarrassing fiasco by circulating this link to your friends/family and their friends and family with the following instructions: Vote for Aus
Question: Just curious, why are you such a lame ****?
Answer: First person to correctly guess the horrible word Crawford called me wins a limited edition, stainless steel Ausiello Scoop! Send your guesses to email@example.com ASAP!
Question: Dirty Sexy Money dirt please?
Answer: Would you believe Simon Elder has a son? Well, believe it. The demon’s spawn, who we’ll meet early next season, is 17 and is not a big fan of pop’s new girlfriend.
Question: Now that the Grey's finale has aired, can you tell us which kiss was the "major" one that Shonda Rhimes was talking about?
Answer: Based on her morning-after post-mortem, I think she was referring to Mer/Der's big smooch. Personally, the Alex/Izzie kiss was the only one that made me lean into the TV.
Question: I'll take a Big Love scooplet, kind sir.
Answer: One of the three Emmy-worthy leads will face a cancer scare this season.
Question: Thanks for all the awesome Weeds scoopage of late. At the risk of seeming greedy… oh, what the hell, gimme more!
Answer: The show has cast the Mexican George Clooney (aka Demian Bichir) to play Mary Louise Parker's new love interest this season. His character, Esteban, is the mayor of Tijuana, and he's described as sexy, dangerous and powerful — the trifecta!
Question: Nicollette Sheridan's absence was noticeable on the season finale of Desperate Housewives. I heard that Marc Cherry said that Edie would be gone for awhile, but he could see her coming back in a "few years." Since the show fast-forwarded five years, was that his coy way of saying she'll be back in the fall?
Answer: Congratulations Candy — you just answered your very own question! I believe that's only the second time that's happened in AA history. Let's have a round of applause for Candy!
Question: After seeing that explosive finale for Criminal Minds, I have to ask: Is someone leaving the show?
Answer: I'm guessing not. When asked who got blown up in the episodes final seconds, exec producer Ed Bernero said in this week's issue of TV Guide, "The person who's injured is the right person to have been injured, and it will all make sense when you see the rest of this story." Notice how he said injured and not killed? Notice also how I repurposed a fairly innocuous quote from the magazine to distract you from the fact that I really don't have an answer to your question? I'm sneaky like that.
Question: Hope you are enjoyed your vacation! In honor of your return, here's a crapload of questions. Is Desperate Housewives casting for Lynette's now-teen terrors? Is Brothers & Sisters casting the role of long-lost Walker, Ryan? Are any Girlfriends characters going to show up on The Game to wrap up their storylines? What's dream Emmy nominee Amy Pietz doing now that Aliens in America is done?
Answer: Normally, I'd enforce the "Only one question per Aushole" rule, but considering I left you guys high and dry last week, I'll make an exception just this once. Your answers are as follows: Yes, yes, perhaps, and testing for pilots.
Question: Is your idea of a vacation walking around the National Stationery Show at the Jacob Javitz Convention Center? Don't deny it, I saw you there on Sunday. Now how 'bout some Boston Legal casting scoop for next season? Every year, they discard most of the "below the marquee" talent.
Answer: Stationery show? I don't know what you're talking about. I already told you, I had a family emergency. You probably just saw someone with bushy eyebrows and assumed it was me. Now, regarding Boston Legal, the only "locks" for next season are James Spader and, surprisingly, Christian Clemenson. There are no deals currently in place for William Shatner or Candice Bergen to return, but everyone expects that to change in the next few weeks. As for the rest of the cast — or the "below the marquee" talent, as you so aptly put it — they should proba