The great philosopher Sheryl Crow once said sang, "A change will do you good." And I sure hope she knew what she was talking about, because I'm standing on the precipice of a doozy.After eight fraktastic years with TV Guide — the best of my career — I've made the toughest decision of my life: To move on to new challenges at Entertainment Weekly. No tears, please. (I'm sure Elisabeth Rohm has shed enough for all of us.) TVGuide.com and TV Guide magazine will be fine without me. Great, in fact. I'm leaving behind so many voracious scoophounds that you may not even realize I'm gone. (Plus, the office's monthly diet Snapple bill is sure to go down substantially.)Before I go, though, I wanted to express my unsmurfing gratitude to you guys, for the hundred million things you've been moved to ask Ausiello. It's because of you and our shared obsession with the tube that I am lucky enough to do for a living what you can only wish you got to I love the most. Sincerely — thanks ...
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Question: You cannot be serious with this Dream Emmy Ballot. Matthew Fox over Michael Emerson? Puh-leeze! Michael Emerson buries Matthew Fox every single week. It's downright insulting. In order to make it up to me, you must provide some Lost poop, pronto!
Answer: We'll find out how Ben turned up in the Tunisia desert in "Shape of Things to Come." And for your information, Michael Emerson entered himself in the supporting actor slot, so he isn't even competing against Matthew Fox. You should be directing your anger at one of these guys: Ted Danson, Matthew Rhys, John Slattery, Donald Sutherland and Michael K. Williams.
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Question: I'll take a Big Love scooplet, kind sir.
Answer: One of the three Emmy-worthy leads will face a cancer scare this season.
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Question: Thanks for all the awesome Weeds scoopage of late. At the risk of seeming greedy… oh, what the hell, gimme more!
Answer: The show has cast the Mexican George Clooney (aka Demian Bichir) to play Mary Louise Parker's new love interest this season. His character, Esteban, is the mayor of Tijuana, and he's described as sexy, dangerous and powerful — the trifecta!
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Question: Hope you are enjoyed your vacation! In honor of your return, here's a crapload of questions. Is Desperate Housewives casting for Lynette's now-teen terrors? Is Brothers & Sisters casting the role of long-lost Walker, Ryan? Are any Girlfriends characters going to show up on The Game to wrap up their storylines? What's dream Emmy nominee Amy Pietz doing now that Aliens in America is done?
Answer: Normally, I'd enforce the "Only one question per Aushole" rule, but considering I left you guys high and dry last week, I'll make an exception just this once. Your answers are as follows: Yes, yes, perhaps, and testing for pilots.
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Question: After seeing that explosive finale for Criminal Minds, I have to ask: Is someone leaving the show?
Answer: I'm guessing not. When asked who got blown up in the episodes final seconds, exec producer Ed Bernero said in this week's issue of TV Guide, "The person who's injured is the right person to have been injured, and it will all make sense when you see the rest of this story." Notice how he said injured and not killed? Notice also how I repurposed a fairly innocuous quote from the magazine to distract you from the fact that I really don't have an answer to your question? I'm sneaky like that.
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Question: Screw the naysayers. I'm stoked Tori Spelling is returning to 90210. Any idea how many episodes she'll be doing?
Answer: As of now she's signed on for three episodes (including a cameo in the premiere). Her participation beyond that is TBD.
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Question: When is the TCA Summer Press Tour this year?
Answer: July 14-22. Save the dates, 'cause barring another, um, family emergency, the diaries will be back and bitchier better than ever!
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Question: Your life is ****.
Answer: I've got another stainless steel, limited edition Ausiello Scoop up for grabs! Any guesses as to what my life is, per Scott? E-mail me at ask_ausiello@tvguide.com ASAP!
OK, that’s a wrap! Massive apologies again for leaving you guys in the lurch last week. I was honestly taken aback by the sheer intensity of the hostility grief that resulted from my absence. Who knew? (Tee-hee.) Moving forward, I'll try and schedule my "family emergencies" during the off-season. Or not. Let's play it by ear, K?
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Question: I am, of course, voting for you for sexiest male vegetarian celebrity. But who should I vote for sexiest female?
Answer: Like you even have to ask? Kristen Bell. Duh.
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