Ask Ausiello

Ausiello: Can you believe it?! On the plus side, at long last I have my Exhibit A when Fox drags me into court for being too spoilerific with my 24 teases.

Ausiello: Let's examine the evidence: As I previously reported in AA, 24 producers earlier this summer briefly toyed with the idea of making Tony the big bad of Day 7. That idea was quickly jettisoned, and soon after, Gary Oldman was invited to come aboard as this season's evil mastermind. A deal couldn't be struck, so the show was forced to devise a Plan C. Or so they'd like us to believe. What I think is that they reverted to Plan A, and when Carlos Bernard resurrects Tony, it won't be as an angel. It's just a hunch.

Ausiello: I am an artist — I can't be bought. Rented, yes. But bought? How dare you? That said, the Nov. 15 episode ought to be a treat for Buffy/Angel fans, and not just because it's vampcentric, either. Mercedes McNab — the scene-stealer who played dumb blonde Harmony on both shows — has just been signed to guest as a toothsome chick who recalls for the Winchester boys the night she picked up more than a hangover while out clubbing.

Ausiello: I can now confirm what I first hinted at last month: Sherry Stringfield will be reprising her role as Nora March in the Nov. 11 episode.

Ausiello: Did you see that big Grey's cover story in Monday's USA Today? In it, both Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo basically confirmed that there are no major developments with Mer-Der in the early part of the season. "Meredith and Derek are sort of treading water," Dempsey said. Added Pompeo, "All of our scenes are the same — we're either breaking up or having sex." She then teased that the star-crossed lovers will have an on-call-room "date" in an upcoming episode. Onetime spoilerphobe Shonda Rhimes, meanwhile, teased that one couple will get divorced this season, "and not the one people are thinking of." Hmmm… I was thinking George and Callie. Does that mean I'm wrong?

Ausiello: The show is adding a new female character, described as a "girl-next-door type" and a potential love interest for one of the show's docs.

Ausiello: You say shout-out, I say copyright infringement. It's a slippery slope, my friend.

Ausiello: It's true… about the rumors, anyway. Unfortunately, exec producer Al Gough isn't confirming or denying 'em. He did, however, tell my colleague Damian Holbrook that "Lois is going to get a job at the 'Planet,' which puts her in contention with Chloe." Gough also spilled some super-scoop on this season's Clana reunion: "She knows the secret, all the cards are on the table, so we're going to play their relationship honestly. But now that she's been married to Lex and that relationship has scarred her, the question becomes, 'What sort of secrets is she bringing to the relationship?' You will definitely see some reversals. You'll definitely see a darker Lana."

Ausiello: A family death will reveal something very sad about one of the staffers in the Oct. 11 episode. Also, Neela turns out to be the worst nanny in the world when she watches baby Joe for Abby. Thankfully, she gets an unexpected assist from Dubenko.

Ausiello: Nope, but another beloved County General alum will (kinda-sorta) be making a cameo this season: Jerry Markovic! No, Abraham Benrubi isn't leaving Men in Trees, but he gets a fun little shout-out in the aforementioned Oct. 11 episode. Here's the sitch: When the front desk gets backed up, Sam tells Frank to call Jerry 'cause "maybe he's ready to come back to work." Frank replies, "You didn't hear? He moved to Alaska... slinging pitchers of beer outside Alaska."

Ausiello: I can confirm that it is one or the other.

Ausiello: We'll soon be meeting Blair's dad, who, according to the casting breakdown, is "a Cary Grant charmer with impeccable taste and manners." Translation: He's gay! He also resides in Paris with his model boyfriend. Speaking of Blair, in the Oct. 3 episode she gets a tip that her frienemy Serena may have spent time in rehab during her mysterious yearlong hiatus. And the name of the facility should ring a bell to many an Aushole: The Ostroff Treatment Center.

Ausiello: If only that were true.

Ausiello: I'm hearing that the climax of the upcoming Razor telepic is, to quote a BSG insider, "probably the best BSG ending since Boomer walked onto Ragnar Station with the other Cylons at the end of the miniseries." All I'll say is it involves someone uttering the following words: "*a*a ****c* **** **ad t*e ****n **** ** i** **d. *** is the ****** ** *** ***c*l****, the ********* ** *****. **** must *** ****** ***."

Ausiello: Hangin' in. And u?

Ausiello: The big day is Oct. 22. Party at [insert name of Big Apple-based Aushole with the biggest, coolest crib]'s!

Ausiello: Bad news: My BFF declined my interview request. I also tried to get a hold of NBC's Ben Silverman, the architect behind LG's megadeal, but he, too, was unavailable to speak to me. The same goes for Graham's manager, John Carrabino. Maybe the wall of silence is their way of keeping expectations in check. After all, as numerous sources tell me, this is nothing more than a standard 12-month holding deal, and one that may or may not result in a TV show. Whispers one insider, "NBC is basically paying her a crapload of money to spend a year sitting around reading bad scripts." Much like the cast of October Road.

Ausiello: My cat is toilet-trained; you're gonna have to do better than that. Nonetheless, I will tell you that I've seen the Oct. 4 season premiere, and it is high-sterical. The sight gags related to Jenna's SWG (summer weight gain) are worth the price of admission alone. And I nearly coughed up my Snappletini when special guest star Jerry Seinfeld threatened to buy NBC and turn it into a *a** *ry*** superstore. I will also tell you that a casting call put out for an upcoming episode promises yet another killer sight gag: The show is looking for a Liz look-alike who'll turn out to be (Spoiler alert) the mother of her boy-toy date.

Ausiello: Matt Mitovich seems to think it'll be CBS' Moonlight, but my money's on Fox's K-Ville.

Ausiello: Yeah, but it's probably not the kind NBC wants out there. You already know that Friday Night Lights exec producer Jason Katims was summoned by NBC to help run Bionic Woman. Well, at the Emmys last week FNL's Scott Porter revealed that one of the drama's directors, Jonas Pate, was recently pulled off the show in the middle of an episode to go work on Bionic. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if by next week Adrianne Palicki is getting fitted for mechanized limbs. (BTW, an NBC rep confirms that Pate is now working on BW, but denies that he was "pulled off" FNL.) 

Ausiello: What did I say about using language like that around me? Let this serve as your final warning. Next time, you'll be banished from AA for life. Back to the matter at hand, I too have seen FNL's season premiere, and while I'll admit the killer Landry-Tyra twist wasn't my favorite part of the episode, far be it from me to condemn an entire storyline based on one measly episode. The FNL writers haven't let me down yet, so I have no reason to believe they'll start now. Long-story-short: Ask me again in a few weeks. Interestingly, the man at the center of the controversial plot, Jesse Plemons, confessed to me during press tour that he was "worried" the incident might alienate Landry fans. "People have an attachment to Landry. In the final few episodes last season, we got to see a different side of him. Because underneath all of his [wisecracking] comments, he's a good guy and a good friend and he believes in doing what's right. So it's gonna be interesting to redeem him after doing something like this."

Ausiello: Either you're a virgin Aushole or I was being far too subtle when I described Big Shots as a "charmless piece of fecal matter" in my Press Tour Diary. Either way, let me state loud and clear and for the record: The pilot is, quite simply, abysmal. That being said, if anyone can polish poop it's the masterful Rob Thomas. The addition of Charisma Carpenter to the cast also bodes well. In other words, don't be surprised if I'm singing a different tune by November sweeps.

Ausiello: Shameless plugs mean so much more when they come from someone else, so thanks for that, Becca. Here's your scoop reward: During November sweeps, Sarah and Joe will be surprised to discover that their washing-machine quickie in Sunday's season premiere may've produced a baby!

Ausiello: They're adding a major recurring role in Season 2 — one Eamon Quinn, a murdering poet who, after getting sprung from prison, seeks to reclaim his position as the leader of the Irish Travelers.

Ausiello: Bill Lawrence is promising a slight shift in tone for the show's final season. "We're reverting back to some of the earlier seasons in that the really broad and goofy stuff will happen only in fantasy," he says. "I think it's really important that people give a s--t emotionally about the characters, so they go back to being really grounded. The first couple years had a lot more dramatic elements, and we're doing that a lot more." Also, look for J.D. to finally grow the hell up. "Zach Braff has essentially been playing a man-child the past seven years, a little boy that's never growing up. He has to grow up and become an adult. By the third or fourth episode, his character will be a lot different — mostly to gear up for the end of the year."

Ausiello: Fair enough. To make it up to you, here's ********* I *****'* **** ****** ****: * ***'* ******* *'* ******* *** **** *** ******* ******* **** ***** ** * ***** ***** ****** ** ** * **** ** ****. *** ** **** ** ********.

Ausiello: Got a little scoopbit for ya on Nip/Tuck: Christian's psycho ex, Gina, is back! Sources confirm that Jessalyn Gilsig has closed a deal to return to the show for at least one episode, to air in January (presumably after she wraps up her stint on FNL). Remember, when last we saw Gina, she unloaded her son Wilber on Christian and vanished into thin air. According to my mole, she returns to check in on her son and, more importantly, make Christian's life a living hell. That's our Gina! 

OK, that's all for this week. You know the drill: Head on over to the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread to lend Johanna a hand with that asterisk quiz. Also, check out the latest episode of my Ausiello Report vodcast, which is packed with more Emmy scoop than the law allows. Finally, send all tips/questions/Smurf sightings to ask_ausiello@tvguide.com. And then come back here next week and we'll do it all again!